


The Making of Prof. J. T. Padalecki

by ju4jen



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-16
Updated: 2014-01-16
Packaged: 2018-01-08 23:58:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 29,264
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1139016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ju4jen/pseuds/ju4jen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Professor Jared Padalecki has had an adventurous life which has led to him sitting and rotting in a prison cell for the last three years.  Then the opportunity of a lifetime rises and Jared can't resist breaking the law once more to join a NASA trip to Mars, fulfilling his lifetime dream.  Except he hadn't considered that the mission would be commanded by Major Jensen Ackles - a paragon of virtue, gorgeousness and sly cunning. Jared didn't have a hope.</p><p>Then the worse happens - the mission is scuppered and their lives are at stake.  Jensen might just have to trust Jared and, in trusting the feckless Professor, he might just be the making of the man.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Making of Prof. J. T. Padalecki

Major Jensen Ackles was a real life hero. He’d saved twenty-seven lives through quick-thinking, calm reactions and a genius level of understanding of physics and engineering. He’d also led fifteen further space flights without loss of life or equipment, and was universally adored by every member of NASA Jared had come across over the three weeks since he had traded his prison cell for a more comfortable sentence with the Inmate Mars Training Program. He was also the hottest thing on two legs Jared had ever seen, an accolade hitherto accorded to the Mars Mariner – all gleaming curves, lines and power. However, a beautiful space ship, as the Mariner undoubtedly was, was never going to be able to compete with the sheer perfection of Major Jensen Ackles in Jared’s eyes.

It wasn’t like Jared hadn’t known what the man looked like. In the three years since Ackles had brought the battered Moon shuttle back to earth in one piece and with all crew still breathing, albeit a little bruised and air-sick, his face had been plastered all over the ‘net as the unofficial face of NASA’s space program. Jared had even pinned a picture on his interactive poster board in his cell – although that had really only been to piss off his cell mate, the world’s largest and most homophobic bastard.

However, reality was shinier and prettier. The moss green eyes glittered more brightly, the lips were plusher, the cheek bones sharper, the shoulders broader, the ass tighter, and, jeez, the legs were bowed as well. The brow was strong and stern, the walk confident but sexy, the voice deep with an edge of whisky huskiness. Add to it a keen mind (he was one of the designers of Mariner after all), and the aforementioned bravery, and the man was a paragon. Jared could definitely appreciate a paragon.

He was prepared to admit, however, that some of his breathless admiration might just be linked with the palpable air of relief which had greeted the Major’s arrival at the Mars Program base. After all the fighting, the delays and the near cancellation of the flight, everyone seemed joyful that the program was being put back into safe, reliable and strong hands - hands which had long, elegant fingers, and neatly manicured nails. Jared also liked a man who was well groomed. 

He wasn’t the only one who seemed a little overawed. Many of his fellow convicts were gaping up at Major Ackles like besotted teenagers as he addressed the entire team aiming to crew the Mars Mariner, assuring them of the priority of their safety. There were a few of the flight crew who were gazing at him with no little amount of adoration too. Jared felt sure that most people in the hall would probably never be able to recall what had been said, but the reassuring tone, and the sheer magnificence of the man speaking would be enough to motivate a cynical and unhappy crew just as ably as any words could.

Jared huffed a little at his own quite visceral response, self aware enough to know what he was responding to, but enjoying it anyway. He felt disappointed when everyone was dismissed and the conference room emptied. That had been one of the most exciting fifteen minutes of his life. And let’s face it – his life had certainly had its moments. 

***

The reality of having someone who knew what they were doing back in charge came a day later when the convict volunteers were given notice that the short listing process would start up again. Jared had worked hard, physically pushing his body as far as he could, and taking every opportunity to play in the Zero Gravity Pool and the G Force simulator. He’d been diligent in the classes too and could now put together one of the station pods unaided and almost blindfold. He felt confident that he should be short listed but he carried with him that frisson of fear in case he was going to be returned to his not very comfortable cell and his unpleasant, sneering cell mate.

It had seemed like a fairy tale opportunity - the notice appearing on his personal communicator, and, he supposed, those of every other prisoner being kept by the United States Government. Volunteers were required for the Mars Station Program. Essentially NASA wanted a group of grunts who could handle the heavy stuff, whilst they ponced around doing the complicated tasks. But Jared didn’t mind. He was slowly being driven mad by the mind-numbing routine of incarceration and would do everything in his power to get out. In addition, a flight into space was an answer to his childhood dreams. He had applied within minutes of receiving the com note, and if he had had to use a little of the proceeds of his last job to oil his smooth acceptance on the program, well, so be it.

However, getting to the base was only one step. Once safely ensconced in a pleasant south facing room (there were bars across the window and a lock at the door but otherwise it bore no relation to his most recent accommodation), he realised that he, and thirty-nine other potentials, were then going to be put through their paces and, from that wider pool, a small group of twenty would actually be selected for the flight. So Jared had put more effort into the training than he had ever attempted with any other task in the past. A fact which surprised him, and he wasn’t sure what he felt about that. In truth, he rarely felt anything at all now except a bone deep weariness as he collapsed into bed every night and slept the sleep of the righteous.

He knocked on the door, with his heart hammering in his chest.

“Enter,” came a deep voice. Jared’s heart did a flip. He had been expecting Lieutenant Crowmoor to be doing the interviews for the selection process but that voice belonged to someone else entirely. 

He took a deep breath and then entered the room. Major Ackles, all six foot something of gorgeousness and bright beauty, was sat at the desk, nose buried in a thick file. Lieutenant Crowmoor, stood to one side with a sneer on his ruddy face. Jared and Crowmoor didn’t see eye to eye, although it was only Crowmoor that expressed that dislike because Jared wasn’t stupid enough to voice any opinions at all. His place on the program depended on it.

“Padalecki,” Ackles stated and looked up.

“Y... yes, sir,” Jared croaked in return. His mouth was dry, but that had nothing to do with coming under the intense scrutiny of a pair of shockingly green eyes. Honest.

“You have received good reports from the Phys. Ed and the Flight Prep trainers. Your scores in your construction tests are perfect. Both Phys and Psy Med have passed you as fit and healthy. However, Lieutenant Crowmoor has some reservations about letting you onto the final team,” Major Ackles continued to look intently at Jared.

“I don’t understand, sir,” Jared widened his eyes and pulled out his shocked voice. He should have damn well known that Crowmoor, the bastard, was going to be a sticking point.

“It’s your attitude, Padalecki. Everything’s a damn joke to you,” Crowmoor shifted a little uncomfortably, because, fuck, that wasn’t fair at all. Jared had taken his training very seriously indeed. 

“I can’t afford to put someone on the team who doesn’t understand the serious nature of the risks and dangers we will face in this mission,” the Major spoke with an earnest zeal that Jared found endearing.

“He has also propositioned members of the crew, Sir,” Crowmoor continued.

Jared’s incredulity was hot. “With all due respect to Lieutenant Crowmoor,” he bit out, “it was Lieutenant Michaels who propositioned me and wasn’t very happy at being turned down.” Well, there had been fumbled, but mutual hand jobs, but Jared hadn’t wanted personal issues to interfere with his very determined desire to go into space, so had put a stop to further relations. Major Ackles narrowed his eyes as if he guessed there was something more being unsaid. 

Perceptive as well, Jared thought, as he remained quiet and waited for his judgment. Is there any end to this man’s perfection?

“Lieutenant Crowmoor,” Major Ackles turned to his colleague. “Could you get me a glass of water?” Jared’s look of surprise was matched only by that crossing Crowmoor’s face. It was followed by a warm smugness, as he grinned at his nemesis. Crowmoor looked, for a moment, as if he was going to protest, but there was steely determination about the Major’s eyes that suggested that he was really thirsty and that Crowmoor had better be busy quenching that thirst as soon as possible or there would be serious repercussions. Sue Jared if you like, but he found the air of authority as hot as hot could be. He wriggled a little uncomfortable in his NASA assigned pants.

“Crowmoor doesn’t like me, never has,” Jared offered up as soon as said officer had left the room, glowering as he went. “But I swear to you, I have never done anything to provoke him. Please give me a chance.” He wasn’t above begging, and was surprised to hear the sincerity in his own voice.

“What did you go down for?” Ackles asked disingenuously. 

“Fraud,” Jared answered quickly.

“Hmmm,” snorted Ackles. “You went down for embezzling 30 billion dollars from the Federal Bank. You were sentenced to ten years on the condition you gave it all back. My understanding is that there is still five million left unaccounted for.”

“I can’t help having unco-operative collaborators,” Jared blatantly lied.

The Major hummed again, then slammed the file shut. He continued looking at Jared.

“Only prisoners with a sentence of five years or less, and without a conviction for violence could apply for this mission,” he stated calmly. “How did you get accepted on the program?”

“My charm and good looks,” Jared’s grin only faltered when he realised that Ackles’ face remained serious. “There are ways and means,” he offered up.

“Did you hack into the computer system?” 

“Yes,” Jared answered.

“Did anyone else help you?”

“I’m not going to say,” Jared concluded.

“Before being convicted of embezzlement, you had tenure at MIT...” 

“Yes, I held the chair in the Department of Computer Science,” Jared frowned. The conversations was taking a turn for the unexpected.

“You were the youngest person to hold that position in MIT’s history,” Ackles continued.

“Yes, not only handsome but also intelligent,” The Major still didn’t return Jared’s grin. 

“You were instrumental in the development of the E-gamma-anomoly convertor?” 

“I wanted to call it the Padalecki paradigm but no-one would let me,” Jared tried hard to maintain control of the conversation in the face of the Major’s cool questioning.

“Why?” Ackles finally leant forward.

“Why?” Jared shook his head, not understanding.

“Why commit a crime of this magnitude, when you were involved in work such as this,” Ackles waved a hand over Jared’s file.

Jared hesitated for a moment.

“I was bored,” he finally answered.

Major Jensen Ackles allowed the faintest twitch of his lips and a flicker of a twinkle cross his face in response. Jared grinned again. Another emotion, dark and heated, crossed the Major’s face and Jared almost crowed with satisfaction. His grin was a patented, irresistible charm. Without it, he would have been given many more than those ten years, he was sure, and he was pleased to see that it could affect the cool, professional demeanour of NASA’s greatest hero too.

“I think I am beginning to understand why Lieutenant Crowmoor has concerns about your inclusion on the program,” Ackles said, as he collected himself.

Jared stared back in dismay. Perhaps the Major wasn’t as susceptible as he thought. He then drew a deep breath.

“I’m sorry if you think that. But I have put in one hundred percent effort into this program. I promise you that I am taking it very seriously... I just have this mouth on me... it runs away from me sometimes... but whatever I say, I know what is important here, and I will do my best,” Jared’s plea was genuinely, pathetically sincere.

“A four month journey to Mars will not keep you from boredom. If you found running the Computer Science department at MIT and developing cutting edge technologies boring, Padalecki, then building a space station is hardly going to keep you occupied and out of trouble either,” Major Ackles was perfectly serious and absolutely right. Jared squirmed uncomfortably under the other man’s gaze. 

“But it’s space, right? The last frontier. We have nothing else left to explore on earth. I’ve wanted to do this ever since I was small. I’ve travelled this world, Major, and now I want to see what is out there,” Jared explained truthfully matching the seriousness of his companion.

“Thank you, Padalecki. You may go now,” Major Ackles stood without commenting on Jared’s plea. 

“Please, I’ve got seven years left of my sentence. It’s going to drive me insane,” Jared added. But he had been dismissed and the Major had already turned to the next file. Jared had no choice but to turn and leave the office.

For once he didn’t pass down the corridors of the base, joking and smiling with everyone he met. He threw himself into his room, and onto his bed, convinced he had lost his chance to go into space.

A conclusion that was confirmed when his name was absent when the list of selected prisoners was posted on the ‘net twelve hours later.

***

Unexpectedly, he wasn’t immediately driven from the hallowed halls of NASA straight back to his homophobic cell mate in the Federal Detention Centre. Instead he, and some of the other rejected convicts were kept on, although side-lined from the main training. Jared soon realised that he was part of the substitution squad and began plotting to remove his competition from the A team. He had a big brain and it should have been easy, but it was although someone had anticipated his interference. He was denied access to computers, and spent his days more or less locked up with the five others in his situation with no chance to mingle and influence anyone. He was, understandably, annoyed but greatly impressed with Ackles perspicacity.

It wasn’t until two weeks later and only three weeks before the Mariner was due for her launch, that he finally got an opportunity to determine his fate. The young lieutenant in charge of the B Team, as Jared had labelled his team, eventually made a mistake and left the door to their training hall unlocked while she went to the rest room. Jared didn’t blame her. She needed a few moments to gather her wits and compose herself. Jared had been particularly charming all day, casting discrete flirtatious remarks her way, then getting way too close during lunch. She had finally fled the room flustered and pink cheeked. Even after three years in jail, Jared could bring a member of the opposite sex to her knees… that was a… um… stirring thought. He gave his dick a stern lecture as he slipped out of the room. He had decided to direct all his interest towards Major Ackles and he needed his dick to be on board. 

The corridor was empty and he debated momentarily what to do with his newly won freedom. His first thought was to go begging, on his knees if he had to, at the Great Man himself. His dick perked up some more - it was an overwhelmingly sumptuous image – him on his knees in front of the Major – and gratifyingly, his dick seemed more interested in the Major than with Lieutenant Swan – but the Major was more likely, being a man of integrity, to send him straight back to prison for the audacity. So instead he decided he would be better served by appropriating a computer. There wasn’t anything he couldn’t do if only he had a computer.

He thought quickly and then headed towards the science labs. A team of scientists were accompanying the Mars Mission, with the aim of setting up a base there. They had been largely separated from the crew and the team of prisoners, making their preparations for the trip in a suite of laboratories in the West Wing of the base. It was perfectly reasonable to assume they wouldn’t recognise Jared. They were also scientists… and, well… doing nerdy type things on computers. Their people skills were usually atrocious, and Jared knew he would be able to convince at least one of them that he needed to take away one of their powerful laptops, with built in wi-fi access. Realistically, he might end up being offered several, but he would cross that bridge if and when he came to it.

However, he didn’t get that far. He rounded the last corner of the corridor that led into the laboratories wing and suddenly heard angry voices coming from the com room immediately to his left. He swiftly entered the room opposite. It was more of a broom closet than a room but that didn’t matter, because through the gap in the door he could hear quite clearly the conversation taking place just across the corridor.

He was surprised to hear Major Ackles’ deep tones raised now in fury. He had thought the Major to be completely unfazable, and was a little disappointed in the object of his affection. This soon changed when he realised the subject of the altercation.

“She is not trained sufficiently,” the Major was saying, voice clipped and loud.

“I am sure she is perfectly able or she would never have been accepted into NASA,” the other voice was less stressed and more smooth.

“She doesn’t have the experience,” Major Ackles replied.

“And she won’t gain any if she isn’t accepted on any mission,” came the counter argument.

“This is a dangerous mission. I won’t accept any one who might prove a further risk…”

“You don’t have any choice. I am ultimately in charge of this mission, and I say that Commander Watson stays on the crew.” The owner of the voice had now identified himself as General Marks. Jared silently whispered a ‘Wow’ and continued to eavesdrop.

“Commander Watson has failed numerous times in her performance simulations, Sir. It is common knowledge that the only reason she is here is because she…”

“Major Ackles, do I really have to remove you from this mission for unprofessional conduct?” The General’s voice was now sharp.

There was silence for a few moments.

“No, of course not Sir!” Jared overheard Ackles say. He felt sorry for the Major. It was true that once the Mariner was in space, Major Ackles would have complete control, but here, down on earth, he was subject to the internal politics that are inherent in any large institution.

“Good. I don’t want to hear any more on the matter. Make sure Commander Watson is on the crew manifest.” The General barged out of the room, without waiting for Major Ackles reply. Jared quickly backed further into the darkness of the closet just in case. Then he waited for several minutes before he deemed it safe enough to leave, and get on with his plan.

What he didn’t count on was Ackles’ sneaky ninja ways. He crept out of the room, only to find Major Jensen Ackles staring at him from the doorway of the opposite room.  
“Padalecki!” he barked. Whilst Jared’s stomach had swooped to his feet in dismay at being discovered, there was a little part of him (well not so little, he was proportional after all) delighted at being recognised. He stopped and matched the Major’s gaze.

“I was just… I was just taking a walk. I got a little stiff… um… cramped and needed to stretch and get some air,” he blustered.

The Major didn’t look impressed. Jared hoped that the scowl marring the sweet perfection of the Major’s face, was, in fact, due to the previous conversation and not his accidental meeting with a convict who should have been in a locked room on the other side of the building.

The Major continued to look intently at Jared, and then the frown lines smoothed out and small smile played about his lips. Jared stared back a little nonplussed and for once he didn’t have anything to say. He was finding the Major’s regard rather uncomfortable.

“Return to wherever you should be, Padalecki,” the Major eventually said. “If I find you wandering again, I may need to tag you…”

“Um… yeah… okay,” Jared replied. He remained gaping as Major disappeared up the corridor. Then he groaned and leaned his forehead on the cool wall beside him.

“Smooth, Jay. Really smooth,” he muttered into the paint work.

***

By the time he had been released from B Team training that night (now watched over by a sternly glowering Lieutenant Crowmoor) the whole base was buzzing. Greenhouse had been removed from the A Team for some unspecified reason. There was a great deal of supposition but Jared couldn’t understand why. The man was ugly, and antisocial but that was not, generally, a good reason for replacing someone. He was also competent and had good test scores. In the canteen, the excitement was palpable in Jared’s little substitution crew and speculation was rife. Jared remained depressed and low. There was no way, not after his little escapade this afternoon, that he would be selected to replace the departing man.

He spurned all attempts at involving him in that evening’s entertainment, and returned to his room early.

He was startled out of his sad reverie by a knock on the door and the appearance of Crowmoor looking even more pissed off than usual. In his arms he was carrying a lap top and a large folder of paper.

“Start reading this. You’ll find a simulation on the laptop. There’s nothing else on it and the wi-fi has been disabled so don’t get excited or think you can try anything on,” Crowmoor dumped both the tech and the hard copies onto Jared’s small table.

Jared looked up the frowning man in surprise.

“Don’t get me wrong, Lieutenant – your sunshiny presence here is always welcome – but what the fuck is this?”

Crowmoor practically growled at Jared who grinned back at him, even though he remained puzzled.

“It’s the training sim for the computer system embedded in the Mariner,” Crowmoor muttered. “You’re on the manifest.”

“Oh… okay,” Jared stuttered but Crowmoor was already on his way out. Before he completely exited the room, he turned round to the prisoner frowning down at his newly acquired possessions.

“Don’t tell anyone about it.” He waved at the computer and the file. “It’s fucking irregular as it is. Major doesn’t want it getting out.” And with that he was gone.

Jared sat back down on his bed heavily, thinking hard. Either the Major fancied getting into Jared’s pants and had given in to his yearning lust (and Jared wouldn’t be surprised – he was a totally awesome fuck) or he was playing some game. Commander Watson was on the crew manifest. She was, supposedly when not on her back spreading her legs for promotion, a coms and computer specialist. Jensen Ackles, saver of lives and hero extraordinaire, was giving Prof. Jared Padalecki, a computer genius, the specs for the Mariner’s systems. Not only did the Major perhaps want to keep the hotness that is Jared close at hand (for mutual sharing of pleasure) but he also wanted some back up – a safety valve in case, Jared presumed, Watson fucked up.

Jared grinned widely. Whatever the reason, Jared had just been given the green light. He was going to Mars. In the Mariner Space ship. On a journey that was going to take weeks. Accompanied by not only the most amazingly beautiful, brave, and intelligent man, but one who was also as cunning as a weasel. Major Jensen Ackles was just improving the more Jared discovered about him. 

***

The following three weeks passed strangely. Throughout the day, Jared joined the Mariner Inmate Crew to continue practising with the jigsaw like station. After the initial suspicion, the rest of the A team largely ignored Jared despite his overwhelming charm and brilliance. Turned out that Greenhouse was popular despite being unaesthetically pleasing but Jared didn’t care. It wasn’t like he could debate quantum mechanics and string theory with any of them anyway. No, he was just happy to be on the manifest.

In contrast to the dull days, the evenings flew by as he pored over the systems spec for the Mariner. The Sim program was just challenging enough for him to feel the mental stretch, and the diagrams were a dance of complication and intricacies. However, he soon began to understand enough to know that he could have done a much better job than whoever had designed the system in the first place. He hoped it wasn’t the Major because he wasn’t sure if his crush could handle such a disappointment.

He didn’t see the Major. At all. Not even a brief glimpse from a distance.

This was frustrating but he bided his time knowing that soon enough he and the Major would be spending several months in close quarters. So he walked carefully through the remaining days until the launch, trying really, really hard not to get into any trouble, and doing what the Major had asked him to do.

And then the launch day arrived. Jared found himself uncharacteristically nervous. It is one thing to look forward to an event when it is some days off - be excited by it even - but when faced with being thrust into space on top of a significant amount of explosives, it was totally natural to own to a little fear. 

The ground crew strapped Jared and the rest of the Mars Inmate team into their flight chairs and Jared realised that even if he wanted to back out, there was no way he could now. It was a sobering moment, and for a minute he became nostalgic for the dullness of M.I.T. and the mind numbing quiet of his prison cell. 

Only for a moment, because suddenly there were loud voices as the ground crew welcomed the flight crew on board. They would have come straight from the press pit, and most of them were looking very smug at the adulation they had obviously received there - Lieutenant Kelly Watson particularly. Captain Chris Kane grunted and pushed past her to enter the cockpit followed by his co-pilot and engineer Lieutenant Steve Carlson. Jared, sitting in the front row of flight seats on the broad flight deck, could see straight into the cockpit. The wide window and console wrapped around the two pilot seats like an embrace and just behind was the command chair – with surrounding screens giving an overview of all the system diagnostics.

Lieutenant Crowmoor, who was in command of the Inmate team, glared at his charges then sat in the flight chair directly to Jared’s left and was joined by Doctor Mary Fisher, the teams medic, on his left. Jared hadn’t met her before but he couldn’t help the charming smile he gave her as he took in her liquid, dark eyes, and trim, petite form. Her lips twitched a little before she disappeared behind the tall back of her flight chair. 

Finally, Major Jensen Ackles, himself, made his way through the flight deck. He greeted Professor Wood and the small team of scientists that were accompanying them, and then acknowledged the inmate team. Jared turned on the full force of his grin, but the Major’s eyes slid quickly over the convicted fraudster, before heading down to the cockpit. Jared consoled himself with admiring the view of the Major’s back as he sat in down at the command desk. All the crew were wearing the dark blue flight suits that identified them as NASA, but none of them carried it off as well as the Major with his broad shoulders tapering down to a slender waist then rising gently over toned buttocks. Jared found his fears failing to hold up when faced with such distraction.

In the end, Jared actually enjoyed the launch. It was rather like being on roller coaster – a very noisy, powerful roller coaster - but Jared found he had to swallow a ‘whoop’ of joy as the Mariner shot into the air with such force that he was thrust back into his chair. He could just see the earth falling away as the sky began to darken into space-black through the front windscreen of the ship and all the excitement he had felt preparing for this trip returned in force. This was it. He had spent so many hours gazing through his telescope out into the night sky when he was a kid and now he was being thrown right into the depths of it.

Then there was silence – or rather not silence because there was still a hum from the Mariner’s systems – but the sudden absence of the roar of the rocket engines felt like the swift onset of deafness. Just as the neural messages from Jared’s ears to his brain were scrambled, he felt several moments of disorientation as the awful weight forcing him back into his chair was lifted. Instead, the belts were holding him from floating out of his seat, weightlessness making him almost giddy with delight. There was a click and he slumped back into the chair as the Mariner’s Gravity system kicked in. Major Ackles turned round to face the main deck.

“Everyone alright?” He asked, voice tinny as it came through the coms link in Jared’s ear. There was an answering call of reassurances and thumbs up, although some of the faces looked a little green around the gills.

“We’ll be firing up the Solar Energizers after our post-launch checks,” the Major continued, “and then setting our course for Mars. Once that has been done, you’ll be able to unbuckle.”

Jared watched with interest as the flight crew busied themselves with their checks. Or rather he watched the Major as he calmly instructed his team, noting their responses and updating his own records. He exuded competence which was just another attraction on top of everything else that Jared found sexy about him.

The solar energizers groaned into life and then settled into a quiet rumble. The cabin remained quiet, and then “Feel free to unbuckle and move around the cabin,” came through the coms system. The whole process, from ground to leaving Earth’s Orbit, had taken less than two minutes.   
***  
Jared swiftly clipped open his harness and stretched out his legs. He then moved smoothly to the small port hole to his left – the nearest window to the outside to him apart from the cockpit. The Earth, huge and blue, practically filled the view, but there was the shimmer of rainbow on its curve then black. Jared gaped in awe at the sight, a lump rising to his throat. It looked so beautiful, and massive even from the distance the Mariner had already put between them. He settled down onto a storage unit positioned right by the window, folding his long legs into a knot under him and watched - watched as the planet seemed to grow smaller and smaller, until stars began to appear in its frame of black.  
It had been a very long time since he had just been able to sit. He was so used to being the centre of everyone’s attention, including his own. He was used to being the largest, most important mind in the room, the school, the university, the country, that his sudden feeling of vulnerability, his increasing sense of wonder at how small he really was, against the immensity of the planet as a whole, and the idea of the galaxy and the universe, was novel to him. It soothed his quick, noisy and relentless thoughts into stillness and for the first time, in a very long time, he didn’t feel bored.

He sat for so long, unaware of time passing, that he didn’t notice the presence of someone else.

“It speaks to the soul, doesn’t it?” Major Ackles’ voice was soft and gentle. 

Jared glanced up in surprise to find the Major’s eyes fixed on the same sight he had been gazing on. 

“I… I feel… it’s…” Jared mangled his response, mind still reeling from his contemplations.

The Major turned to him with a smile. 

“Don’t even try!” he answered. “It’s impossible to find the words to describe it.” He nodded out to the view of Earth slowly shrinking from sight. “And there’s more to see and experience.”

Jared responded with a weak smile of his own, feeling uncomfortably unlike himself for a moment. The Major’s smile broadened further then he nodded and was gone, winding his way through the flight deck, checking on his passengers.

“Jeez,” Jared whistled under his breath. 

***

It took several days before the Earth seemed nothing more than a large star in the sky. Jared continued to watch at times, but also threw himself into the routine of the trip.  
The journey to Mars was going to take eight weeks. The Mariner was sizeable, carrying a total of forty¬-seven personnel, and all the pieces needed to build the Mars Station but there was no quiet space. The inmates were bunked in threes with only their mattress and storage behind a curtain providing any privacy for them. The scientists and NASA crew were bunked in pairs, although Jared had already discovered that the commanding officer was rewarded with a solo cabin, a fact he stored for later use. In order to not trip over each other, Major Ackles assigned the crew to sleeping in shifts, a rota for cooking and cleaning, and work, in the form of building parts for the electrical systems for the base.  
Jared woke up when assigned, breakfasted, fiddled with small screws and soldering wires for hours at an end, helped cook lunch, then sat by the window, allowing the tiresome frustrations of being in close quarters with not much to do to fade away as he marvelled at simply being in space. Then he ate dinner, cleared up after dinner, hung around in hope of seeing Major Ackles, and then retired to his bunk and the schematics for the computer system for the Mariner.

Operation ‘Seduce Major Ackles’ wasn’t going well. The Major was sleeping a different shift so was conspicuously absent from view through Jared’s ‘work day’. The only time Jared saw him was during rec time, and then the Major was actually working himself. There hadn’t been any kind of exchange between them for five days which left Jared pouting a little. But he reconciled himself – there were still nearly seven weeks, and then the whole month of building the Base and then return journey home. He had plenty of time. 

Meanwhile, he chatted up the scientists, charmed the NASA crew that were charmable (obviously this did not include Crowmoor, although Jared, being fond of a challenge, was prepared to give it a try), and held tedious conversations with his fellow prisoners. Hopefully, good reviews of his friendly disposition and general all round awesomeness were being reported back to the ship’s commanding officer.

It was just after Jared had cleared the last plate from the dinner service, on the sixth day of the flight when he finally came face to face with the object of his affection. The Major was looking particularly appealing, having not shaved for a couple of days, and having, at some point in the recent past, obviously dragged a hand through his normally carefully coiffured hair. Jared’s stomach made a swooping dive towards the floor just at the same time a fire was lit in his belly.

“Anything left over?” The Major asked in his deep, rich voice. Jared tried to swallow but his mouth had become drier than the Sahara Desert.

“I’m starving,” the Major patiently asked again.

Jared cleared his throat and croaked out an apology. It wasn’t, technically, his job to do dinner. He was rota’d to clear up but he quickly pushed aside… someone (he didn’t really care who it was)… and picked up a serving spoon.

“We’ve still got some shepherd’s pie,” he declared, still with a rough catch in the back of his throat, but gaining more control over himself. “It’s hot, and filling, although I don’t think it has ever seen real lamb!”

“That’ll do!” Major Ackles answered seriously without any sign of responding to Jared’s broad grin (so wide it was hurting his cheeks, but he knew that his grin was impossible to resist… well, for most people anyway). Jared scooped up a helping and placed it carefully on a spare plate.

“Vegetables? The addition of water has ensured that they are as fresh and nutritious as the day they were harvested,” Jared winced a little and willed his mouth to shut up but he did get a response at that. The Major was now looking at him - bemused, but looking. “Only the very freshest ingredients for you, sir!” Jared’s mouth ran on but, to be fair, the Major, a bit mussed up, was as hot as scotch bonnet on a Texas tin roof in summer during a heat wave, and all of Jared’s blood had evacuated from his brain to head south. It wasn’t his fault. Personally, Jared felt it was a miracle that he was able to serve up said veggies, after the Major had nodded a confused acquiescence and then muttered a ‘thank you’, without dropping the serving spoon. 

Jared stared as the Major sat down at one of the tables to eat his food. Damn, but Jared had it bad. He couldn’t remember ever losing his cool over anyone before but his heart was skipping like he was a teenage girl facing her first crush, and he was still struggling to peel his tongue off the floor.

He was still contemplating the awesomeness of Major Jensen Ackles when the ship lurched violently. There was a large crash, and Jared found his feet leaving the floor at much at the same time as his head seemed to dive down to meet it. He didn’t think very much about Major Ackles after that. Actually he didn’t think anything at all as the world completely blacked out.

***

When he was training back at the NASA base, Jared had prided himself on being one of the few trainees who never threw up on the G-Force trainer. However much pressure the machine exerted, his body took it in its stride. When he finally opened his eyes this time, however, his immediate reaction was utter sickness. His perspective was all wrong. Apart from the horrifying pressure that was threatening to make his eyes bleed, the blur and movement made him feel as if he had accidentally tripped and fallen into a washing machine. He flailed wildly with his hands when he realised that not only was the ship turning, and turning with some speed, but that he was also moving – being thrown violently around. He tried desperately to grab something stable, finding a table leg, but his relief was short lived as he realised that the table was also being tossed around the cabin in the same manner as he was. Typical. The Mariner lurched wildly again and Jared heard an explosion and then loud cursing. He was flung into the door way of the cockpit hard enough to knock all the air out of his lungs but for long enough for him to notice Major Ackles moving forward. The ship tipped again and he was thrown back like a rag doll. He tried to keep himself relaxed and covered his head with his arms. A space ship spinning out of control, as surely as the Mariner had to be, was nothing like the G-Force trainer.

Then everything shuddered so viciously that Jared felt certain the ship was going to fall apart. There was a horrible screeching, then one final roll of the ship before Jared was dumped unceremoniously back onto the ground, along with the rest of the detritus that had been flying around the cabin just a moment ago. There was silence.

The ship may have stopped spinning but Jared’s head continued to turn. Feeling sick to his stomach, he started to untangle himself from the legs of the table that had been flung across the flight deck with him. Groans started up from the left and right of him, but he ignored them, as a sharp pain rent its way through his left shoulder and down his arm. There was a throbbing at his temple too, but, on reflection, he felt he had escaped lightly from injury considering how the Mariner had lurched and spun out of control.

It was dark in the cabin but not pitch black. The emergency lighting cast a faint pale blue pallor. As he stumbled to his feet, still queasy, Jared’s foot knocked into the softhardness of someone else’s limb. Crowmoor looked ghastly white in the odd light, and unconscious. Jared paused long enough to ensure the Lieutenant was breathing, then carefully made his way towards the cockpit. The last he had seen of Major Ackles was his taut back as he had pushed the limp body of his pilot to one side to take the helm. His first thought now was to see if the Major was safe.

The Major was still in the pilot’s seat. Just sitting, hands still white with tension where they were grabbing the steering column. Lieutenant Carlson was already up out of his chair and hovering over Captain Kane who had taken a serious knock to the head. Jared could see burn marks as well as an ugly wound across his forehead. Lieutenant Watson was sobbing hysterically, curled up in a small ball underneath the comms unit.

“Are you…?” Jared croaked generally around the room.

“Is the doctor conscious?” the Major barked his interruption as he whipped his head round to face Jared. “Get her!”

Jared wanted to ensure the Major was unhurt and safe first but the severity of the expression on the Major’s face made him gulp and turn immediately back to the flight deck, his eyes already searching amongst a sea of flailed limbs and bruised torsos.

The doctor was already on her feet, a thin trail of blood running down from a cut on her cheek. She was checking the vital signs of someone – Jared couldn’t see who it was - with a grim expression on her face.

“Doc!” Jared called, his voice shallow and quavering. He cleared his throat and tried again, reminding himself that he was made of sterner stuff than this. She looked up with a frown and then, seeing him standing in the entrance way to the cockpit, rapidly clambered over broken and twisted furniture.

“The Major…” Jared started to say but she had already pushed past. 

Now he was upright, and more or less in his right mind, Jared could see the damage that had been done. It was as if a hurricane had blown through the ship, tearing up everything in its path. In amongst the debris, members of the crew were beginning to move, some moaning. Here and there, there were unmoving bodies.

Suddenly Jared’s legs gave way, the rising nausea crashing in waves over him. He sank to the ground, swallowing hard. He doubted that the Major would be overly impressed by this pathetic response, but the combination of relief at still living and breathing, and the horror of the wreckage in front of him, drove thoughts of the Major into a secondary starring role for the first time since Jared had seen him. Jared hurrumphed. Who knew that he could be actually capable of some depth? He threw up a thin line of bitter liquid then took some deep breaths. He was alive. At least he was alive.

“Here!” A flask was thrust in his face but the word was gentle. Jared grabbed it and took a swallow – the cool water settling his sickness a little. The Major was crouched down beside him, eyes concerned and kind.

“Thanks,” Jared muttered after he had taken a further sip, a little awkward at his situation. On the one hand, the Major was so close that Jared could feel his body heat and that was an extremely pleasant feeling, but on the other hand, Jared had just collapsed in an undignified way, with a pool of rapidly cooling vomit at his feet . Not exactly his proudest moment.

“Are you able to come with me?” The Major asked after a few silent moments.

Somehow Jared knew that the question didn’t quite mean what he would have liked it to mean, and he took solace in the fact he was obviously recovering because, yes, his mind did go straight to the gutter. Instead of responding in his usual cocky manner, however, he looked up into serious green eyes and nodded.

The Major held out his hand as he rose from his knees and pulled Jared up too. Jared’s head protested for a little, and he swayed as he rose. Strong hands reached out to grab his shoulders and hold him still.

“I need you to keep it together,” Major Ackles dropped his voice, and Jared got a sense that the Major wasn’t just being kind – something was up. There was an odd inflection in the Major’s words. 

The last thing Jared felt was together – someone was hammering inside his head, there was a stabbing pain in his arm, and his body throbbed with aches and pains. He still felt sick, and he had a suspicion that panic was not far away. But the intensity and seriousness that he could see in the Major’s expression cut through all that and in addition there was a silent plea. Major Ackles was simply begging Jared to be all right, and Jared instinctively knew that it wasn’t because the Major had designs on Jared’s flawless body.

“I’m okay,” Jared said and nodded again. “I’m good.” The Major narrowed his eyes briefly, as though he knew that Jared was lying, but Jared remained steadfast on his feet and maintained the look between them. A quiet breath of air was the only audible indication of the Major’s relief, but Jared also noticed his expression change. Something in Jared’s own face had reassured the Major.

He found himself tugged back into the cockpit, wincing when the Major grabbed for his injured arm. But he followed meekly enough. The Doc was working on Captain Kane, who was now conscious and swearing, and being held down by Carlson as the medic tried to treat his head wound.

“Get out!” Major Ackles voice was harsh and loud, and Jared started to step back, confused.

“Not you!” The Major said at the same time Jared realised that the Major was talking to Lieutenant Watson. She was still snivelling under the unit. Evidently, she was uninjured as she fled as quickly as she could. Major Ackles turned and manually forced Jared back into her chair.

“The life support system is off line,” The Major said quietly. Jared’s blood ran cold and he looked back at the Major with horror.

“We’ve got exactly three hours before the oxygen in the cabin runs out. I can give us a little more time – maybe thirty minutes or so – but I need that life support system back up and running.”

“Is it damaged?” Jared asked dreading the answer.

“Don’t know,” the Major answered quickly but still quietly. Jared looked around the cockpit. No-one was paying any attention to them, and he suddenly understood… no-one else knew. The Major didn’t want a panic.

“The whole computer system is off-line, and the firewalls have gone up. I’m no computer expert and Lieutenant Watson is more useless than that,” the Major continued. “I need you to hack into the system. Get the life support up and running or, at least, get us into diagnostics so I can fix the damage.”

“What firewalls?” Jared has spent hours poring over the schematics for the computer system but he had never seen anything that suggested the computer system was security protected.

“All computer systems on all space vehicles since the Rondalan hijack have been protected,” Major Ackles hissed back impatiently. “Can you do it?”

“There hasn’t been a firewall yet I haven’t been able to get through,” Jared said cockily.

The Major just looked at him, hard and severe.

“I’ll give it a go,” Jared softened. “But three hours is pretty tight.”

“There’s an undamaged oxygen tank in the hold. I can buy us some more time by routing some tubing from it to the cabin,” the Major answered.

“You’ll need to get everyone into the one place – close down the sleeping cabins…” Jared started to say.

“Leave that to me,” Major Ackles interrupted. “Just get the computer system back on line and the life support up and running.”

Jared tried to grin but assumed it came out more like a grimace, if the Major’s frown in response was anything to go by. 

“You’ll owe me,” Jared muttered as he turned to the comms unit and the computer touch screen. 

“I’ll fucking blow you if you succeed,” the Major responded. Jared turned so quickly in surprise that he was in danger of twisting his own head off. He arched his eyebrows at the slight smirk lurking around the Major’s lips, and at the hint of rosiness around his cheeks.

Fuck.

“Better be about your business, Major,” Jared crowed with a rush of adrenaline. “You’ve got a deal, and I have work to do.”

***

In an ideal world, Jared would have waltzed his way through the firewalls within minutes, earning an admiring and respectful look from the Major before his eyes would turn dark with lust. It would be a matter of minutes, then, before Jared would be able to carry his prize off to his solo cabin to fuck him until they had been mutually sated and pleasured.  
Unfortunately, life is just not like that, and two and half hours in, Jared was no nearer to breaking down the firewalls than he had been. His brain was not thinking straight and felt as though it had been wrapped in cotton wool.

The cockpit had been cleared, and the Doc was now ruling roost over the makeshift hospital on the flight deck. There had been three fatal casualties, and nearly everyone else had some injury or another. Those with minor injuries were assisting with those whose wounds were significantly more serious. Jared had tried to ignore the sharp pain in his shoulder and arm until the Major, ever perceptive, had brought him pain killers and some water. He’d also brought him the last ice pack for his head. Jared enjoyed the ministrations of the commanding officer but had only allowed his concentration to drop for a moment or two.

The Major had spent the first twenty minutes down in the engine room, hooking up the spare oxygen tank in the hold to the air supply for the rest of the ship. He estimated that it would give them another thirty-five minutes but Jared was still now looking at only a little more than an hour to go.

The air was already feeling thin, and the noise in the flight deck had lessened as the lack of oxygen had had a soporific effect on those waiting. Major Ackles still hadn’t told anyone the truth about the life support. Jared was, apparently working on getting the lights working.

The Major was now hovering and Jared was finding it distracting. The combination of shock at the accident, his own injuries and the rapid depletion of oxygen was making Jared abnormally tired and he kept shaking his head to keep his mind on his work. With the Major also close by, Jared was finding his concentration slipping.

The firewalls has been built by someone with a near genius level of computer know-how. Every avenue Jared was able to open proved to be a dead end, and he had gone round and round in circles.

“Come on, Padalecki,” the Major leant in so close that Jared was able to smell his sharp scent. “I thought you were a fucking genius.” Jared mused briefly on the Major’s rising tension, but was unable to come up with a suitable retort. He watched sleepily as the Major’s eyes widened at his lack of response.

The next minute a mask was being shoved over his face. He struggled, confused for a few moments.

“You need to keep thinking sharp,” came the Major’s deep voice. “The thinning oxygen is making you groggy.”

Jared stilled and took several deep breaths. The oxygen smelled clinical but like fresh air, and he immediately began to feel the fuzziness clearing. The Major had pulled up a chair and was sitting with a small oxygen tank between his knees.

“Has everyone else gone to sleep?” Jared asked.

Major Ackles shook his head. “But they are slowing down.” He added.

Jared nodded his reply and turned back to the computer screen.

“You’d better keep up your oxygen sats levels,” he said finally. “It’ll be no good to me if you fall asleep too.”

The Major smiled at him, a little uncertain and without losing the desperation that had been sitting behind his eyes.

“Just concentrate…” was the only answer Jared received.

***

Thirteen minutes later, and mind firing on all cylinders thanks to the regular doses of oxygen, Jared finally found the in. The firewall came crumbling down only a couple of minutes later, and the life support was back on line a minute after that. They heard the rumble of the system firing up, but after a couple of moments waiting, still didn’t feel the coolness of fresh air being pumped into the cockpit.

“Shit,” the Major cursed. “There has to be some damage…”

“You think?” Jared countered. It was a surprise that the ship was still in one piece. He opened up the diagnostics and started the Life Support program. It took him three minutes to isolate a broken connection. The Major was up and out of his seat in an instant. Jared sat for a second then realised the oxygen tank had been left behind.

“Shit,” Jared cursed, picking up the tank and following the Major out.

He gasped at how little air there was left in the flight cabin. Only the doc was still moving, slowly, but carefully, still checking on her patients. The others was sleeping, unconscious or just out of it. Jared tried not to think what would happen to the crew if the Major couldn’t fix the damage.

He followed him down into the engine rooms. Ackles was already climbing like a monkey in amongst the works. The air locks on the door between the life support and the actual rocket engines was shut.

“Looks like whatever hit us took out the rockets,” The Major said conversationally, his voice coming from inside the works.

“Something hit us?” Jared questioned. He’d had no idea.

“Blindsided,” Ackles answered. “Probably a meteorite, or space debris.”

“I thought there was a system for spotting those,” Jared mused.

“Oh yeah, that’s right… a system… watched and maintained by that useless woman,” Ackles’ head popped back out of the unit he was examining. Jared assumed he meant Lieutenant Watson. He offered up the mask. Whilst the oxygen levels seemed less thin here, Jared could feel his own breathing becoming more shallow.

“I think I’ve found the problem,” Major Ackles said.

“Glad to hear it. We only have about half an hour left,” Jared responded. “And I really want that blow job.” Something clanged loudly, followed by cursing, where the Major had just crawled up into the space between the Life support mechanism and the heating elements. Jared grinned. Operation “Seduce Major Ackles” seemed to be back on track. It was unfortunate that they nearly died in order to progress his agenda but he wasn’t going to look a gift horse in the mouth.

“Pass me up the laser cutter,” The voice was now entirely disembodied. The Major was somewhere deep into the machinery. Jared picked both the cutter and the mask up and offered them through the hatch. 

“Isn’t there anyone else who could do this for you,” Jared yelled up. “You are the commanding officer after all!”

“Isn’t anyone who knows this baby quite like I do,” the Major called back. “I designed her.”

Jared knew that actually, but he smiled at the pride in the Major’s voice.

“Well, you did good,” Jared said. “Not even a meteorite could knock her out of the sky.”

“You better believe it,” The Major commented as he dropped back out of the hatch. “She’s the safest ship in the fleet.”

Jared offered the oxygen mask again but the Major shook his head. He looked up at the air vent. Suddenly Jared felt a cool breath of air coming out of it.

“Still enamoured of space flight, Professor?” Major Ackles asked quietly.

Jared felt his relief settle into a lump in his throat. 

“It’s the most beautiful thing a human can experience,” the Major continued, a grin forming as he saw Jared’s incredulous response. “Okay, maybe not as beautiful as that… but something close. It’s also the most dangerous, and it’s terrifyingly addictive if you like your fun mixed up with a dose of extreme fear every now and then.”

Jared was still unable to speak. It seemed a common enough occurrence this close to Major Ackles.

“You did really good,” the Major finished, and suddenly Jared knew he wasn’t going to get his reward. The Major could read him like a book and knew exactly what to say to get Jared to forget about his terror and panic so he could focus his mind on what needed to be done. He really was very, very clever and sly and cunning. It was the reason, Jared supposed, that the Major was in command.

“Thanks, you didn’t do too badly yourself,” Jared said when he finally found his voice through his disappointment. The look the Major gave him in response was inscrutable. He smiled gently and left, leaving Jared to stand for a moment, at a loss.

They had just saved everyone’s lives. Jared could feel satisfaction in having done a job well, but with none of the arrogance and the pride that had always accompanied his successes in the past. It had been too close for comfort. But underneath it all, he also felt a measure of excitement. He had been terrified, but maybe the Major was right – maybe it was also fun. He thought about the Major for a moment – there had been desperation at their plight for sure but he had been quick thinking and in control. He had, kind of, enjoyed being so close to the wire. His grin as the air started pumping through the system again was a testament to that.

Jared smiled. He was still enamoured of spaceflight, but he was particularly enamoured of Major Jensen Ackles. He might not be quite as far as he wanted to be, but the game was still on.

***

The Mariner was in a mess. Carlson had taken a space walk to determine how much damage the ship had taken, and had returned grim faced. Both rockets had been damaged beyond repair when the fuel tanks had exploded, and there was a gaping hole which opened up the engine room to deepest space. The air lock was still holding but the rent would have to be sealed up as a matter of some urgency. 

Inside, most things had shattered and broken. The Major ordered all the rubbish to be piled up in the training room just so he could look at what other damage had been done. Only the emergency lighting worked in the sleep cabins, the navigation system had blown when the engine blew, and comms was just white noise.

The worst of it was the human damage. Three dead, and seven critically injured, and a whole host of broken bones. No-one had been prepared for the Mariner to be hit, and had just been going about their everyday business when they had suddenly been thrown around. Only those asleep in their bunks had escaped any injury but bruises and grazes.  
Jared proved to have a broken collar bone. He suffered for three days with concussion too but he didn’t feel like making a fuss. There were others with worse injuries, and three people who would not be returning home. He slipped easily into taking care of the bed bound – something he could do even with only one working arm. The adrenaline from saving the ship and their lives wore off in the face of so much pain, but he smiled and put on his best Padalecki charm. He caught the Doc watching him in approval several times, as he joked and cajoled patients in his care into better moods, even though he didn’t really feel it himself. The Doc herself was proving to be something of a tough cookie, and he couldn’t but help respecting her dedication and hard work ethics. Apart from the three who had died in the initial explosions, no-one else passed away - perhaps too scared to piss the Doc off – but there were several that would take time to heal.

Even looking after the injured, and hampered by a useless arm, Jared had time to just watch. He sat for hours watching stars drift slowly by in his usual spot on the storage box by the small port hole, or he simply followed the Major with his eyes. The Major was looking worn and tired, eyes large in the darkened shadows of his face. Jared marvelled at how calm, how reassuring and how in control he seemed, but he could also see a touch of something in his visage, something heavy and haunting, and he was concerned. So much for fun, Jared thought, and then remembered that the Major had never lost anyone on a mission until now. He surmised that their three dead were haunting the Major.

He also noticed that in all his busy-ness, the Major was failing to eat.

The Mariner was stranded, with no means of propulsion. They were a week out from Earth and had been knocked massively off course. There didn’t seem to be a system that hadn’t been damaged in some way and there were three dead bodies, wrapped in sheets, lying in a storage room. Jared couldn’t understand why the Major wasn’t running throughout the ship just screaming wildly, but he wasn’t. So perhaps not eating and looking faintly worried was a reasonable response to what had happened.

***

However, after three days, Jared’s concerns had started to ring very loud alarm bells in his head.

“He’s not eating,” he declared as the Doc cleared up the dressings she had recently replaced from Lt. Crowmoor’s head wound.

“How the hell do you know that?” she responded, looking at Jared sharply.

Jared debated backing down, as he didn’t really want to own up to stalking the Major (although in a space ship as small as the Mariner, he could argue that it was difficult to avoid noticing the Major who seemed to be everywhere at the moment. However that wouldn’t explain how forty-four other people had been singularly unobservant). She gave him a knowing smile as he failed to find a suitable answer.

“Don’t bother explaining,” she said with only a hint of exasperation.

“He’s important,” Jared answered stoutly. “He’s the only one who knows the engines and the Mariner well enough to fix her and get us home.”  
“Hmmm,” the doc replied. Then she narrowed her eyes.

“Is he sleeping?” She mused.

“He’s spending time in his cabin. I can’t vouch for whether he is sleeping when he’s in there.” Not that Jared wouldn’t give his eye-teeth to know exactly what Major Ackles did when he shut the door to his cabin on the rest of the crew. He hoped that the Doc couldn’t tell what he was thinking, and he tried to look as uninterested as possible.

“You’re good with the patients,” the Doc said thoughtfully after a while, the sick bay beginning to look ship-shape at long last . “You try to get him to eat.”

***

Putting Operation ‘Seduce Major Ackles’ on hold for the moment, Jared started on Operation ‘Get the bugger to eat’. He put extra special care in his shift in the kitchen to make enticing delicacies – not easy considering the lack of fresh rations and damage that the kitchen had undergone during the crash. His efforts were appreciated by the rest of the crew, but Major Ackles came nowhere near the serving table. 

So next he started collecting two plates of food at dinner and would take the food directly to wherever the Major was working at that given time. After three plates of congealed food forgotten and abandoned where Jared had left them, he decided that more desperate measures needed to be taken. The Major was looking more and more fragile despite his easy smiles and calm.

Jared rifled through his luggage until he found what he needed, and then searched the ship for the Major. He found him in the cockpit.

It was empty and quiet save for some huffs and quieting cussing coming from underneath the burnt out navigation unit. It was late and Major Ackles’ work rota had been largely forgotten in the aftermath of the accident, most people wanting the reassurance of working alongside the rest of their colleagues. So the Flight crew, being no exceptions, had already retired to their own cabins. All except the Major.

“You know, it’ll all still be here tomorrow,” Jared said as he crouched down and looked under the desk.

A thump and a hissed curse suggested that Jared had surprised the Major.

“Jesus, Padalecki – what are you lurking about for?” Jared thought about taking umbrage – he wasn’t actually lurking – but decided to give the Major a pass. The man had been having rather a rough time of it recently.

“Just saying,” Jared continued. “You need to get some rest. You can finish fixing it tomorrow. It’ll still be here.”

The Major pulled himself out from under the unit and gazed up at Jared with a glare.

A lesser man than Jared would have backed down at that point, but Jared wasn’t no lily-livered chicken and stood his ground. Besides he had the Doc’s backing, and he would put money on the Doc against anyone despite her being twice as small as everyone else.

“You look like shit, man,” Jared said bravely and untruthfully. The Major was actually looking completely adorable, with a smudge of oil or something on his forehead, his hair mussed up attractively, and his freckles standing out against his pale skin. There was hint of tension in his jaw too, which probably didn’t bode well for Jared, but Jared couldn’t help but admire how fucking hot that made the Major look.

“I hardly think that how I look is important right now,” the Major responded crossly.

“Well… um… no… I suppose not,” Jared answered. “But looking like shit generally means that you are not looking after yourself properly.”

“What?” The Major snapped belligerently.

“You’re not eating and I suspect, looking at those shadows under your eyes, you’re not sleeping either!” 

The Major huffed. “Have you absolutely no idea how serious a situation we are in?”

“I absolutely do,” Jared began to feel his own temper rising. “I get it – the ship is broken, we’re lost in space, we totally in the shit…”

“People have died and more still could…” Major Ackles interrupted.

“Yeah, we could all still die,” Jared reiterated. “I get it. I do. But you know what? There are still forty-three people who are alive at this moment. You’ve already saved our lives twice, and we are kind of depending on you to save them again if necessary. But you aren’t going to be any use to us whatsoever if you are too tired, or too sick to rescue our asses if you don’t get some rest and some food in you.”

The fight seemed to leave the Major as he heaved himself heavily up off the floor before collapsing into the pilot chair. Jared, still breathing a little hard after his outburst, stood and waited.

“Actually, you did most of the saving the second time,” the Major eventually said.

“But if you hadn’t gotten the ship under control in the first place, there wouldn’t have been anyone to save,” Jared started to smile, and threw himself into the co-pilots seat. He watched patiently as the Major dropped his head into his arms as they rested on the flight desk.

“You’re exhausted,” Jared continued. “And you haven’t eaten in days.”

“I don’t suppose I want to know how you know that,” the Major’s voice was muffled.

Jared briefly wondered why everyone kept asking him awkward questions, before responding.

“Not much else to look at,” he said.

The Major snorted, or at least Jared thought it was a snort. Difficult to tell when someone has buried their face in their arms.

“I mean, the Doc’s pretty hot but way too fierce for me. The rest of crew are damn ugly. You are, frankly, gorgeous so what choice do I have?”

“I thought I looked like shit?” Major Ackles turned his head so Jared could see his face. There was amusement sparkling in his eyes and faint smirk playing about his lips.

“I lied,” Jared grinned back. “Even whacked out on sleep deprivation, you are the hottest thing I have ever seen.”

The Major’s answering dismissive snort made Jared feel warm and glowy and a little choked up – a strange and unfamiliar response for Jared. 

The Major sat up, but continued to look at Jared – his smile fading slowly, to be replaced by sad weariness and pain again. Something flip-flopped deep in Jared’s belly as he kept the eye contact, and an ache wrapped itself about his chest.

There was something breath taking in the Major’s vulnerability, and Jared felt he had never seen anyone so beautiful as the Major was at that moment. He was gaining an insight into the man who, underneath the efficient calm, was just as afraid as everyone else. He, of course, was shouldering the responsibility for the lives of forty-four souls but there was just a hint that he doubted his ability, his strength, to save them all. Jared wanted to wrap the man up in his long arms, protect him, look after him. It was another entirely unfamiliar feeling for him and it momentarily set his world off kilter. But that wasn’t going to help this situation so he shook himself, metaphorically, and tried to concentrate on the matter in hand.

“I can help… we can all help. You don’t have to do this alone. You are not the only one responsible for keeping us alive,” Jared stuttered out in the end. Green eyes bored into his even more intently. “Besides… I have chocolate.”

The tension broke and the Major began to smile uncertainly. Jared waved the bar in front of the Major’s face in triumph, and was rewarded with the most amazing grin he had ever had the pleasure to witness. The man’s face was transformed, lit up like a sunny day, all boyish charm.

“Thanks,” The Major said as he grabbed the bar and then tore into the wrapper as if he were a starving man. His groans of delight were filthy with a direct line to Jared’s dick.  
Jared shrugged nonchalantly, trying not to look like he had been crazy turned on by someone eating chocolate.

“Not just for this,” the Major continued obliviously (or so Jared hoped), stuffing the corner of the bar into his mouth. “You are demonstrating a remarkable amount of wisdom and sensitivity…” 

“I know. I’ve been noticing that recently too. I am definitely behaving out of character. And my name is Jared. If you are going to wolf down my chocolate with such a lack of finesse then I think that you should at least call me by my first name.” 

The Major laugh out loud, but didn’t pause in attacking the chocolate. Jared looked on in satisfaction until the Major had finished the bar completely. Somewhere at the back of his mind the niggling thought that eating so much chocolate, so quickly after four days of not eating at all was probably a bad thing, but he ignored it captivated by the sheer bliss crossing the Major’s face after so many days of fake smiles.

“Go get some sleep, Major,” Jared finally ordered once the bar had been completely devoured.

The Major grimaced, and Jared could understand why. He hadn’t been sleeping too well himself, nerves frayed and fear never far from his thoughts.

“I could come and read you a bedtime story?” Jared offered mischievously. “Or lead some other activity guaranteed to relax you?” He waggled his eyebrows leeringly.  
The Major stood, a wry expression on his face.

“I’m serious,” Jared followed up. And he was. Very serious. Very, very serious. There was nothing more he would like to do than lay out the Major naked and beautiful on his bed and relax him completely. Possibly with his lips around what Jared optimistically hoped would be the wide girth of the Major’s cock.

“Oh, I am certain you are.” The fake smile was back, but there was more life in the Major’s eyes which reassured Jared. “Get some sleep too, Jay.”

Jared caught the Major’s hand as he brushed past him on his way to the back of the cockpit, stopping his journey out.

“I’ll be by to make sure you eat breakfast in the morning, Major,” he said looking up at the commanding officer.

The smile the Major gave him this time was genuine.

“Thanks. I’ll look forward to it, particularly if it’s chocolate again.”

“Sorry, you’ve eaten my only bar, Major, but I can always try to embezzle someone else out of their secret stocks?” Jared laughed.

“Well, that shouldn’t be too hard. From what I hear you can charm a dime from a miser,” the Major chuckled in return. “And, since you’ve given me your last chocolate bar, you’d better be on first name terms with me too.” He tugged his hand out of Jared’s with a further smile and without seeming to notice the rise in Jared’s colouring as he realised he was still holding the Major’s – no, Jensen’s - hand.

Jared continued to sit in the cockpit for a few moments, stunned by the warmth that flooded his body from that small exchange. It wasn’t until he got up to leave himself that he suddenly realised that the Major – Jensen – had called him Jay, which got him hot and bothered all over again. 

He had to sit down again very quickly as all the air exited his lungs in one great explosive breath. 

Then he shook himself. He really had to stop behaving like a teenaged girl.

***

Just as the buzzer for the third shift went off, Jared found himself at the door of Major Ackles’ cabin with a plate piled high with omelet and bacon. It wasn’t up to his usual standards, but he hadn’t had an opportunity to cook omelet in three years, and the Mariner’s kitchen supplies tended towards the dried and canned. And, let’s not forget, he had a useless arm. But still, the smell wafting up from the plate was almost appetizing. His own stomach was growling with hunger and he’d brought two forks just in case the Ma – Jensen - was feeling sociable.

Oh yes. Jared had had a sleepless night. He’d spent long hours tossing and turning and suffering from unpleasantly ‘warm’ emotions until he finally gave himself a stern talking too. After all Professor Jared Padalecki did not do emotions in relationships. He was the fuck ‘em and leave them kind, and had always been proud that he had managed to reach the age of thirty-one without getting involved in anything so messy and difficult as ‘attachments.’ He concluded his nocturnal musings with the satisfying thought that he just needed to get the Major out of his system by banging him stupid and then all those sappy, uncomfortable feelings he’d been having would just disappear. No doubt his desire to do the nasty with the Major had gotten mixed up with the heightened levels of emotion after the crash. After all he had nearly died. 

But even as he had resolved to reinstate Operation Seduce Major Ackles, he remembered the glimpse he had been privileged to see of the guy’s emotions. He had allowed Jared to see something of the turmoil and fear that underlay the hero. What the Major needed was someone who would be a friend, who he could talk to not someone desperate to be in his pants.

Actually, what Jared wanted both. Which was very confusing, and not a little terrifying for him.

So he hadn’t slept and early morning found him making an early pit-stop in the kitchen to make Jensen’s breakfast, all the while determinedly not thinking about why he was taking so much care and effort when a bowl of cereal would have just been as effective.

If he had secretly hoped that, at his knock, Jensen would call enter, and Jared would open the door to find Jensen adorably sleep mussed, golden smooth skin barely covered by a sheet, and inviting eyes promising Jared pleasure unlike any he had ever known, then Jared was doomed to be disappointed.

A fully dressed, uniformed, Major opened the cabin door, hair carefully combed, face shaved for the first time in several days. Gone was the open, vulnerable man of the night before. Jensen had put back on his Major Ackles, Nasa Hero persona. Jared opened his mouth but no sound came out. 

And shit, his uniform kink was totally inappropriate and out of control.

“Good,” Jensen said totally oblivious to Jared’s excellent impression of a fish out of his water. The Major stood back to let Jared in. The cabin was small, and extremely tidy with a bed made to hospital standards. There were a few awkward moments until Jared finally pulled himself together enough to place the plate of food on the small table by the bed.  
“I hope you are ready to put your money where your mouth is,” Jensen continued. Jared frantically tried to remember what the Major could possibly be referring to but Jensen was forging forward, expanding on his meaning without having to be asked.

“I know that arm of yours is going to be a bit of a problem but I take it you can type one-handed?”

Jared nodded dumbly in answer still not entirely sure what was going on.

“I think I can put together something from what remains of the rocket engines but I need someone to patch it into the Mariner’s systems, once they are up and working, of course…” Jensen sat down and started attacking the mountain of omelet and bacon with gusto.

“You offered to help so I take it you’re on board?” Jensen continued to speak between mouthfuls. “Jeez, Jay, don’t just stand there, sit down!”

Feeling that, somehow, he must have broken the Major last night, he automatically sat on the edge of the bed, then jerked back up to his feet as he remembered that this very bed featured heavily in his fantasies starring himself and this currently exceedingly, and uncharacteristically, voluble man.

“I thought we would start by finishing the patch on the nav system…”

“Jensen, did you get any sleep last night?” Jared finally interrupted.

“Some,” the Major answered, and then clamped his mouth shut, a faint blush tinging his cheeks. 

Jared may have finally gained entrance to the hallowed space that was Major Ackles’ cabin but somehow he had never imagined the scene playing out quite like this.

“Are you okay?” he asked cautiously.

“I’m fine. You were right. I was so busy trying to do everything myself that I totally overlooked the expertise that other people had on the ship, and then I got planning…” he waved a hand at some papers on the table. There were drawings that looked suspiciously like engineering plans.

“I did say that, didn’t I?” Jared muttered cautiously.

“Yep, and it was a great pep talk, Jay. Thanks. So I examined all our options, and thought about the resources we have on board and I drafted some ideas and timetabled a schedule…” the Major grinned maniacally, talking so fast that Jared had trouble keeping up.

Jared nodded a little to himself. Jensen had obviously missed the entire point of the ‘pep talk’ and lack of sleep had driven him insane.  
“You didn’t sleep at all, did you?” he interrupted.

“Didn’t need to. We just need to get started. You shouldn’t have any trouble with the electrics and the computer, and Chris and Steve can help me with the propulsion system…”  
“Jensen! Just stop,” Jared interjected. “We’re not starting anything. Not yet. You’re completely wired, man. You’ve gotta get some sleep or you’re going to lose it!” Jensen halted his flow of words in surprise, fork laden with bacon hovering over the plate.

“Eat the food, then go to bed. To sleep. We can survive without you for one day. You carry on like this and you’re going to make a mistake and get us all killed.” Jared felt mean as he saw Jensen register his words with a frown. More gently he continued.

“I’ll start looking at the Nav system myself later and, of course I’ll help you with whatever plans you have but Jesus, you have got to just stop and get some rest.” Jensen glared at him for a moment with such fierceness. Jared couldn’t work out if it was wrong to find something so terrifying so scorching hot too. But he bravely faced the challenge behind the glare with one of his own.

He knew he had won, when Jensen finally hung his head, his shoulders dropping, and the tension in face slipping away.  
Jensen poked at the remains of the omelet desolutely for a few moments. Then he looked back up Jared ruefully, raw weariness written across the shadows in his face. Then he huffed, fleeting amusement passing across his features in a instant.

“This is one hell of a quantity of food, Jay. Who’d you think you were feeding?” 

Jared smiled and pulled out the spare fork.

“That’ll explain it…” Jensen almost smiled in return. “Well, if you’re going to dig in, you’d better sit down again.”

***

After breakfast, eaten in companiable silence (at least, Jared hoped it was companiable), Jensen quickly lost all his earlier frenetic energy and practically needed Jared’s help to collapse on the bed. He was unconscious in seconds, so Jared pulled the blanket out from under him, and covered him with it, all the while wondering when he had turned into his mother.

He stood watching the older man sleep for a while before even he realised he was being creepy, and he stole out of the room, shutting the door carefully behind him.  
Without thinking, Jared sat down in the in the co-pilot’s chair and began to assess the damage to the Nav unit. 

An hour later he snorted derision at himself. 

How the mighty fall, he mused as he finally gave up fighting himself and admitted that he had fallen utterly, and completely in love with Major Jensen Ackles.

Fuck.

***

Life on the Mariner began to settle. The days passed without further incident, which began to calm the crew, but they were also busy days and there was not much time to think anyway. Some of the inmate crew were drafted by Lt. Carlson into fixing the breach in the side of the ship. The resulting space walks caused much excitement and were squabbled over incessantly – cabin fever already so firmly entrenched that tying themselves with a short length of bungy rope to a small piece of metal, several million miles away from Earth in deep space was infinitely more preferable to the crew than just watching through a port hole. Finally Major Ackles put a stop to the arguments by organising a lotto, each evening’s draw something of a highlight of the day. Even the scientists, who had hitherto kept to themselves were entering their names into the space helmet.  
Jared was happy enough just watching the stars through the windows, his injury precluding him anyway from the draw. For several days he continued to look out at the stars, sitting on his storage box in between his hours tinkering with the computers in the cockpit. He had no desire to leave the safety of the ship and was content just to watch the activities from inside the Mariner. Nothing ever happened but it calmed him. He sometimes took a moment to gaze in awe at the panorama from the cockpit when he was working but usually he was too busy to look up and out.

Lt. Watson returned briefly to her duties. After she caused a small fire, Jensen stripped her of her rank and sent her back to help in the kitchens. The Major’s rage at the incompetent officer was so incandescent that most of the crew avoided him for the next couple of days. 

However, Jared was now openly the de facto communications and computer officer on board. Crowmoor glowered but he was still stuck in the makeshift sick bay, and Watson burst into tears every time they saw Jared but the rest of the flight crew were welcoming and friendly.

He wasn’t actively avoiding the Major, but, after his epiphany, Jared tried to keep his distance. It wasn’t so easy now he was spending his day working mostly in the cockpit but Jensen was spending his time down in the hold – the only place big enough for Jensen to start playing around with the propulsion systems. So Jared was safe most of the time. Safe from what? Well, Jared wasn’t too sure and tried to avoid thinking about the answer but he suspected it might be safe from doing something really stupid and cheesy - like reciting romantic poetry, or composing love songs and other such syrupy sap that seemed to fill his head every time Jensen walked past him.

Once the tear in the ship’s side was sealed, Jensen switched to working on the actual blown engines with Captain Kane and a couple of the science crew. Jared saw even less of him but he noticed, with satisfaction, that Jensen turned up regularly for meals, and that he practically collapsed into his cabin, yawning and rubbing his eyes with tiredness. There was no return of crazy, maxed out Major, and Jared considered his intervention a success.

Jared, himself, was also working quickly. He soon had all the important life support systems working normally, the navigation system up and running (just waiting for the rockets) and had almost completely rebuilt the comms unit. He remained frustrated though at the continuous white noise he heard whenever he tried turning the damn thing on. Their best hope for rescue wasn’t with Jensen’s creative engineering but with getting a message to Earth and with the comms unit out of action, there would be no rescue. However, Jensen had, on a couple of occasions, complemented him on his work, leaving him with a soft, warm feeling deep in his belly and they still had time so he postponed his panic.   
“You should take your own advice and get some rest,” Jensen said, late in the shift thirteen days some time later.

Jared jumped at the sound of the other man’s voice, not sure if Jensen was a ninja or if he himself had been so absorbed in his work that he didn’t notice.

Jared hummed his answer, but didn’t look up. Best that he didn’t. He wasn’t sure he would be able to resist writing an ode to Jensen’s extraordinary eyes.  
“Still getting shit loads of nothing from the comms?” Jensen asked persistently.

“Nothing at all,” Jared answered and pushed himself back from the unit. He stretched, still feeling an ache in his collar bone although it was mostly healed and blinked, his eyes feeling gritty. Glancing at his watch he realised that it was much later than he thought. Jensen was right. It was time to go to bed.

“But the inter-ship telecommunications are now back on line,” Jared continued.

“Great, that’ll save me having to walk the fifty metres to sick bay when the Doc wants to yell at me,” Jared looked up at the sarcasm in Jensen’s voice.

“Not you too?” he smiled.

“She wants to stick me with her needles,” Jensen said as he sat down on the Command seat and looked out at the view. 

“She’s worried about us getting the flu whilst we’re stuck up here,” explained Jared, although he had himself been reluctant to get inoculated until the Doc had threatened him with bed-washing Lt. Crowmoor who was still slowly recovering from his serious head injury.

Jared swivelled his chair round to face Jensen. The cockpit lights were flashing red and blue lights onto his face, and his head was framed with a wide back drop of deepest darkest space. Trying to calm the butterflies in his stomach that always seemed to wake up when he looked on the Major, Jared returned to gazing out at the sky too. The blackness, sprinkled liberally with bright white points, wrapped around the cockpit affording the two men a one hundred and eighty degree scene. It was infinitely more spectacular than Jared’s small little view on the main deck.

“You can come and sit in here, if you like,” Jensen offered softly as if he knew what Jared was thinking. “You know, when you want to just sit and look…”

He fell silent.

“I see the way you watch the stars,” Jensen said after a few moments of quiet. “It’s okay if you want to come in here. The view is better.”

“Thanks,” Jared answered and despite his reservations (after all Jensen’s cabin was located to the rear of the cockpit) he knew he would take up the Major’s offer. He was in danger of saying something completely starry-eyed and adoring so he turned to the older man and grinned.

“You just want to keep me close,” he smirked deciding inappropriate flirting preferable to declaring undying love.

“In your dreams, Professor,” Jensen quipped back.

“Really? You want to know what I dream about?” leered Jared in return, eyebrows raised suggestively, not able to help himself.

“On second thoughts, perhaps I’d better pass,” Jensen smiled back at Jared, eyes alight with a sense of mischief. “But if I ever do get desperate, I know where you are!”

“You want me now, and you know it, Jensen,” Jared returned, sounding more easy than he was feeling. “Anyway, you still owe me a blowjob…”

“Yeah, I do. Don’t I?” Jensen answered and suddenly there was a strange look on his face, and Jared was pretty certain that there was a wistfulness about the look which kind of gave Jared some hope – and scared him stupid at the same time. 

“I know where to find you if I get ever get desperate too…” Jared said gently. Then he rose before he burst into singing that silly love song that suddenly was echoing around his brain. He collected himself and said goodnight to the Major before returning to his own cabin as fast as he could.

He hoped it didn’t look like running away.

***

Life on the Mariner became as calm and boring as any life could be when you were stuck in a small metal box, stranded in outer space with no means to return home. Everyone’s jittery nerves settled even more when it became obvious that the repairs to the ship so far had ensured that imminent death was postponed and now that there were plans for getting them back to Earth.

The Major reinstated the three shift system to give everyone space (it was remarkable how claustrophobic the Mariner felt even though it was drifting aimlessly through millions of square miles of empty space), and everyone relaxed into their duties – fixing the ship up, helping fix the injured, or working on Jensen’s plans for a new propulsion system.  
Jared had been both smug and ever-so-slightly terrified when he realised that Jensen’s revised shift system meant that he was now working, resting and sleeping at the same time as the Major. He wondered if Jensen had done it deliberately, so that he could spend time with his new civilian communications officer, but if he had, then he certainly wasn’t letting Jared know. Their conversations were professional and business like (for the most part - a little harmless flirting meant nothing). Jared joined Jensen at meal times to shoot the shit with his officers but they kept of personal subjects.

Soon Jared’s smugness faded into frustration and disillusionment, tempered only by a small level of relief. His crush… or whatever it was he was feeling for the Major… sat uncomfortably with him. One moment (usually when Jensen gave him a shy smile or just a nod of acknowledgement) Jared would feel elation, and the next (almost any time when he couldn’t see or hear the Major) his mood would be down in the deepest, darkest depths of despair. He wondered if this was how everyone who fell in love felt, and then wondered why it seemed so popular with humankind because, frankly, if this was it, then being in loved sucked.

The only change in Jared’s routine was in the time he spent in the cockpit. He not only worked there during his shift, fixing the burnt out computer systems, but he now spent the portion of time he used to spend on his storage box at the port hole, sat gazing out at the blackness of space from the co-pilot’s chair. Sometimes he would hear Jensen coming back from his rec time to enter his cabin behind him, but more often than not he sat deep in thought oblivious to anything around him.

He wasn’t sure if it was a) nearly dying in a space crash b) continuing to be stranded with very little hope of returning home or c) being smitten by a man who was quite obviously a fine and decent human being but Jared found himself questioning his life up to this point in time. He knew he had been a complete asshole all his life, unreliable, restless, utterly selfish, albeit charming and lovable, and he had never worried about it. He had always got what he wanted – the job, the fuck, the influence and power – and that was all right with him. Everyone else had seemed so inferior to him, with his charm, his long legs, dimples, and huge intellect. But now he wasn’t so sure. How could he say he was any better than the Doc. who spent endless hours, selflessly looking after the critically injured crew members? Or Robbie, the youngest of the scientists whose humour and positivism kept everyone smiling and laughing despite the horror of their situation? Or Major Jensen Ackles himself? A man who was strong, reassuring, thoughtful. A man of integrity and honour. Against that, Jared didn’t feel worthy, and it was a humbling thought for someone who had been so sure that who he was and the decisions he had made in his life were right.

In fact Jared would spend so long lost in his own thoughts, starlight and the lights on the control desk lighting up his features, that he failed to notice that Major Jensen Ackles didn’t always disappear into his cabin. That sometimes, Jensen would watch Jared, for minutes at a time, leaning against his doorway with an expression that Jared would find unreadable should he ever have turned round to notice it. 

***

The continuous white noise coming from the comms desk was now driving Jared frantic. However and in whichever direction he investigated, he could not find a proper reason for why the system continued to defy his ministrations. After so many weeks, he was beginning to despair, and his reports to Jensen more and more surly.  
“It’s been weeks. Why are you still not able to get it to work?” Jensen questioned one day, sounding uncharacteristically testy himself.

“If I knew that, then don’t you think I would have done something about it?” Jared snapped back nastily.

Jensen narrowed his eyes, his jaw tightening, which Jared knew was a sign of Jensen being… well… pissed, and was instantly sorry. After all, it wasn’t Jensen’s fault that Jared’s brilliant mind was not so brilliant after all.

“The system is working. I know it is,” Jared carried on more calmly. “But for some reason it is not picking up any radio waves at all. It’s like something is blocking it!”

“We’re in the middle of nowhere, with nothing around for thousands of miles. What could be blocking it?” asked Jensen.

“I don’t know,” Jared said hopelessly feeling the sting of Jensen’s words. 

“I thought you knew everything,” Jensen bit back. “That’s why I put you on the mission. Some decision that turned out to be.” Jared flinched at the heavy disappointment in Jensen’s voice and just stared miserably as the other man hastily turned and exited the cock pit. Well, it was more like a flounce, Jared considered meanly, a great girly temper tantrum of a flounce. And thinking so made him feel marginally better, if only momentarily.

***

“I’m sorry,” a familiar deep voice, with the hint of smoke and whiskey about it, broke through Jared’s silent contemplations that night. Jared looked round, startled, to find Jensen standing uneasily at the hatchway to the cock pit. Jared shrugged and returned his attention to the view. Jensen obviously felt that was invitation enough because he soon was sitting opposite in the pilot’s chair. Jared didn’t want to ignore him – he felt a little pleased that Jensen had come to apologise in fact – but he was having difficulty finding any words to answer and so he allowed the silence to fester for a few minutes.

“I didn’t mean…” Jensen started to say when the quiet became too oppressive. He sounded so uncertain that Jared just turned to look at him. “I… it’s just… I’m just… I know you are doing the best you can…”

“Not good enough, though, is it?” Jared said sadly in answer.

“I think saving our asses was plenty good enough and I was out of order implying anything else,” Jensen replied firmly. A heavy frown crossed his brow and his eyes remained downcast, whilst his fingers picked at something imaginary on his pants’ leg. Jared smiled softly at him even though he knew Jensen couldn’t see him. There was something so perfect about this man – not even so proud that he couldn’t admit when he was wrong.

“We’ll work it out… you know… the comms…” Jensen said.

“It’s maddening… I’ve stripped the system back twice – I’ve tested it more times than that. It works within the ship. There’s no reason why it shouldn’t be working out there,” Jared waved a hand in the direction of deep space, but could hear the whine in his voice. 

“Don’t blame yourself. There is something we are overlooking – and by we, I don’t mean you, Jay. You’re a computer scientist not an expert on astronomy.”

“I know that,” Jared began to raise his voice. “But a comms system? Shouldn’t be rocket science!”

Jensen huffed out a quick chuckle. Jared stared at him in anger for a moment until he realised what he had said. His smile returned.

“You’ve never found anything difficult, have you?” Jensen then asked suddenly. Jared raised an eyebrow quizzically.

“You’re not handling the frustration well – not considering the litany of expletives that I keep hearing,” Jensen continued as an explanation.

“I wouldn’t say that. I’ve faced plenty of difficulties,” Jared answered. “But I guess not intellectually…”

“This is not some computer exercise,” Jensen responded softly. “People’s lives are at stake, and that’s what makes it seem worse. Believe me, I know.”

Jared snorted derisively. Jensen always succeeded at what he did, regardless of how many people were depending on him because that was just who he was… someone who could take on that kind of responsibility.

“You think the new propulsion system is going well?” Jensen answered in reply. “It looks good on the plans but I don’t have the materials to really see it through.” 

Jared gaped in surprise.

“What the hell have you been doing down there then?” he asked, voice high with astonishment.

“Building the propulsion system at first,” Jensen explained taking a deep breath. “But it became clear pretty quickly that I couldn’t complete the system as I had designed it because I don’t physically have the resources I need. And I have worked over the plans again and again, I cannot think of anyway round the problem”

“But?” Jared could barely believe Jensen’s disclosure.

“Oh, the team are building something… it’s just not going to work,” Jensen carried on. “I can’t tell them to stop. Imagine what it will do to morale if everyone finds out I am all out of ideas.”

Jared could. The only thing that was making the whole situation bearable was the hope that Jensen was giving the rest of the crew. Of course, they were all going to go home – the Major was working on some new-fangled propulsion system that would get them there and Professor Padalecki would soon be able to contact Earth and get help from that direction too. Jared suddenly realised that Jensen and he had been so crotchety and snippy at each other simply because they were feeling the same thing. Jensen was just as frustrated as Jared at the lack of progress they were making, particularly when so much was at stake.

The two of them sat for a while in silence again gazing out at the stars. They didn’t seem quite so awe-inspiring now to Jared, but rather ominous and threatening.  
“And I know…” Jensen started again. “I know that things haven’t always been easy for you either.”

Jared’s stomach plummeted to the ground, and his breath began to hitch. He didn’t need this now, not when he was already feeling small, and worthless.

“I know what your folks did to you, how you grew up, what you did to get yourself out,” Jensen’s eyes were glowing with sincerity and empathy, but Jared could barely look into them as he burned in humiliation.

“I just wanted to say that I think it took strength and a righteous confidence. Don’t beat yourself up all the time for mistakes you might have made along the way. What matters is that you are not entirely the same man now – keep that strength, that belief in yourself, but know that there really is a deeply caring and thoughtful guy in there too. Your parents didn’t entirely beat it out of you!” 

Jared wasn’t able to speak. A hard lump formed in the back of this throat, and his eyes were hot with tears, though he angrily forced them away.

“How…?” he eventually croaked in reply.

“How did I know about your childhood? It’s in your records, Jay. Did you really think I wouldn’t see them?” Jensen answered softly… gently. “And as for the rest… you do know that I watch you as much as you watch me, don’t you?”

Jared gulped audibly. He felt like sobbing and laughing at the same time. Jensen was poking into parts of Jared he never ever wanted to discuss, and then he was saying really nice things about him, and implying… shit knows what Jensen was implying...

“That’s a bit creepy,” Jared finally said although a fragile smirk acknowledged the irony.

Jensen smiled for a fraction – warm, and gentle.

“I won’t mention it again,” Jensen replied. “Not unless you want to. But I’ve been watching you bring yourself down for weeks now and it’s not fair for you to do that yourself. You’re not the douchebag you think you are. And I’m sorry… I took my own anger and frustration with myself out on you and I didn’t mean it. You didn’t deserve it.”

Jared couldn’t ever remember feeling so confused and so full of emotion before. On the one hand he wanted to sling a swift right-hander to Jensen’s jaw for being so perceptive and for being able to see right through all the layers Jared used to deflect from that scared, small boy he had once been. On the other hand, a perceptive, caring Major who seemed to actually like and admire Jared – that was kissable material right there. It took a fraction of a moment to decide.

He leant in. Soft lips yielded gently as Jared drew Jensen deeper, and Jared gained access to the taste and feel of Jensen’s mouth. He raised a hand up to gently run his hand through Jensen’s smooth and increasingly long spikes of hair. He humphed in satisfaction when he felt Jensen’s hand grasp his shirt – not to push Jared away but to pull him in closer. Their tongues met in a tangle and Jensen groaned. Jared hoped it was in pleasure and pulled back to see. Jensen was looking up at him, those green eyes wide, and blown, lips reddened, swollen and parted, chest heaving with quick breaths. He looked like an advert for a particularly filthy porn film, despite being fully dressed. Jared smiled and started to plan what his next moves would be – certainly getting Jensen back into the cabin was first order, getting him undressed, and shivering with bliss, as Jared licked him all over, would shortly follow.

“Stop staring, Padalecki!” Jensen looked up straight into Jared’s eyes.

“Can’t stop me!” Jared smiled a little wider not taking his eyes of the man.

But Jared Padalecki really wasn’t the same man as he used to be. He knew what he wanted to do, what he knew he could make happen but…

He kissed Jensen again, sweet and good and loving.

“Don’t think I don’t want this,” Jared explained as he finally pulled away. “Because I do. I’ve wanted this, for all the wrong reasons, the moment I set eyes on you. Now I want you for all the right reasons, but not tonight – I’m all emotionally fucked up – your fault incidentally – and you’re all apologetic and screwed up about the stuff.” Jared waved his hand generally in the direction of ‘stuff’ “And I want to do this properly. You are worth doing this properly for and maybe, I am worth doing this properly for too – I don’t know, I’m might have to work on that – but anyway, I’m going to bed now – alone – but thank you, kissing you is as awesome as I thought it would be. I hope we can do it again - soon?”  
Jensen’s face changed from shock to quiet amusement as Jared spoke. He watched a little stunned as Jared heaved himself out of the chair and headed for the exit.

“Jay,” he called just as Jared was leaving. Jared turned round giving his resolve a stern talking to… his ability to do the right thing was still in its infancy and Jensen, looking a little ruffled and well-kissed was a sore test for any man’s ability to do the right thing. Jensen wasn’t helping as he wrapped himself round the taller man, arms winding round Jared’s neck to tug his head down. Jared breathed in Jensen’s scent – oil, and engineering lubricant (how hot was that), earth and space– and allowed Jensen to kiss him this time. A strong, confident kiss that had Jared melting with its heat.

“Properly, eh?” Jensen asked when he finally took a step back to separate them.

Jared nodded. “Properly,” he answered.

“What the hell does that mean?” Jensen asked grinning.

Jared just shrugged, then turned and walked out of the cock pit.

***

The breakthrough came four days later.

Jared had been staring out into space after his shift as he usually did. Jensen had followed him into the cockpit, after eating with his crew. They hadn’t exchanged a word with each other, still lost in their own thoughts and frustrations they had faced that day, sitting in the pilot and co-pilots chairs in silence. 

The noise from the main deck began to fade as everyone else left to retire to their cabins. Once there was silence, Jensen was up and out of his chair, and clambering onto Jared’s lap, in a blur of motion. Jared gasped as the weight of his commander forced his breath out of his lungs, and his warm, long tongue pushed its way between Jared’s teeth.  
They had gotten good at this… finding moments to devour each other’s mouths out of sight of everyone. Jared credited Jensen with maintaining the secrecy. Jesus, the man was stealthy, able to creep up on Jared silently, and tug him into the secret spaces on the ship where no-one would notice that there were two tall, grown men making out like teenagers. Actually, Jared thought he ought to be a little concerned because Jensen was too good at the creeping around, which might suggest some years of practice – a slightly worrying thought when Jared was already considering ‘forever’ with the man. But then, Jensen seemed to be fucking brilliant at anything he did, and the end result was always six foot plus of hard, hot body plastered to Jared and lots of tongue, lips and teeth action so Jared really couldn’t complain. 

It was only a matter of time that someone, probably Kane or Carlson who knew Jensen well, would notice that Jensen was distracted, or that he and Jared were sometimes disappearing at odd times of the day, or that one of the forty odd strong crew would discover them tucked away in the snug corners of what was really quite a small ship. But when Jared watched Jensen interacting with the crew, and going about his daily business, he was just his usual competent and calm self – giving away no signs that he was indulging in what amounted to frequent bouts of heavy petting with his communication and computer expert. Jared held the greatest admiration for Jensen’s ability to deceive and play a part – one minute, lips bruised, hair mussed, chest heaving like he was a heroine in a romance novel, the next barking out orders with cool eyes and not a hair out of place. He admired it but it also fell into that nebulous cloud of concern – just how did Jensen get so good at? That and the sneaking around skills…hmm… Jensen had a past that Jared was definitely going to research as soon as could, just to make sure. Jensen having a naughty side to his character? That was altogether overly enticing and threatened Jared’s earnest and heartfelt resolve to do things ‘properly’ several times a day.

But that was all moot at this point – either there was something wrong with Jared’s eyesight (too much gazing at Jensen’s hotness might have caused damage, he supposed) or there was an anomaly near the Mariner. As Jared relaxed back into the chair, head falling back allowing Jensen access to his throat, he caught a strange blur in the sky out of the corner of his eye. It wasn’t easy, having a second look because the wet, bitey goodness of Jensen’s teeth scraping along his jaw was somewhat overwhelming, but he felt he had a duty to notice strange anomalies in the space around the drifting Mariner. He was an officer of the flight crew, albeit an acting member of the flight crew.

He pushed at Jensen, to create some space.

“Jen…Jen…” he insisted when Jensen frowned briefly before leaning in again.

“No, Jen…” Jared tried again. “There’s something out there…”

“Mmmm… don’t worry… everyone’s gone… to… bed,” Jensen mumbled as he peppered butterfly kisses down Jared’s throat. Not that Jared wasn’t grateful or appreciative, but he gave Jensen another push, harder this time.

“Wha…?” Jensen cried as he slipped off Jared’s lap and back onto the console.

“There! There is something odd out there!” Jared couldn’t be blamed for lacking finesse at expressing himself. He did love the way Jensen’s mouth felt against his skin and it always scrambled his brain cells into incoherency. But he backed up his words with wild gesturing towards the blur – or ripple – or whatever it was that was making his eyes feel peculiar.

Jensen got the message and looked, and then looked again.

“Shit, Jay. What is that?” he asked in surprise.

“Not a clue,” Jared answered.

Immediately Jensen snapped back into commander mode.

“Bring the scanners on line. Then get me Kane and Carlson,” Jensen ordered with authority. Jared was already half-hard from the making out, but hearing Jensen’s voice so commanding was hotter than a Venusian volcano on a really hot summer’s night. He’d been really good, and hadn’t let things go any further than inappropriate touching and licking and kissing, despite feeling as horny as a teenager all the time, but this wasn’t really the time to bend Jensen over the console and fuck him into oblivion. However, the wanting… the wanting so much made his brain go stupid for a few moments.

“Jay?” Jensen repeated and Jared got his synapses back on line.

“Uh, yeah, right… on that,” and he heaved himself out of the chair to the comms post. He switched on the long range scanner, then scurried out of the cockpit.

***

“How come we’ve never noticed it until now,” he asked much later. “We’ve spent hours staring out of this window.”

He didn’t mention that there had been very little star-gazing in the last four days, but there certainly had plenty of gazing at stars before that.

“We’ve drifted,” Jensen explained. “The Mariner is drifting in space and obviously turning as well. It’s just never been in sight.” It was a good excuse but Jared could see a flash of guilt cross Jensen’s face. The ship wasn’t turning that fast – the anomaly had probably been visible for a few days – days in which Jared and Jensen had been somewhat preoccupied. What if this anomaly was important? Or a risk?

The Mariner’s computers were still processing the data from the scan. Jensen had ordered other tests to be done – and Lieutenant Carlson had taken a space walk with two of the scientists to take more specific scans. On the early evidence though, it looked like the anomaly was some kind of magnetic feature.

“It’ll explain why comms has been nothing but white noise,” Jensen had said when he first glanced over at the data, then he had looked up at Jared with a faint smile. “Not your fault at all.” 

“That’s it,” came Carlson’s voice over the comms. “Downloading the data now. We’re on our way back.”

“Okay – no, wait!” Jensen started. Jared and Captain Kane looked up at him sharply.

“If Steve let the Magtometer Scanner go, would it just keep taking readings?” Jensen asked them both. Kane shrugged.

“No reason why it shouldn’t,” Jared answered. “Why?” 

“It would be interesting to see what affect that… cloud… anomaly… had on equipment up close,” Jensen answered. “How long would it take for the Mag Scanner to reach whatever that thing is?”

Jared made some swift calculations, triangulating the distances on the computer read out.

“One hour, fifty-seven minutes,” he fired off an instant later.

“Jeez, can’t you get it more exact than that?” Kane snorted but his eyes were smiling.

“Depends on how hard Lieutenant Carlson pushes it away from the Mariner. Give me those numbers and I’ll give you something more accurate.”

Both Kane and Jensen laughed.

“What d’you want me to do, boss?” Lieutenant Carlson asked.

“Shove the Mag. Scanner into that thing, and come back on board,” Jensen ordered.

Jared shivered. He loved it when Jensen got all bossy.

***

Four hours later, Jensen called a crew meeting. Everyone piled into the main deck, anticipation in the air. There wasn’t a soul who wasn’t aware that something big was happening – they’d all watched the space walk earlier and seen the small groups of crew whispering furiously to each other. There was a low murmur as Jensen led Captain Kane, and Lieutenant Carlson out of the cockpit. Jared was already sitting out on the deck. He knew what was coming but he wouldn’t have missed this. He remembered the first speech Jensen gave, all that time ago when he was suddenly put in command of the Mariner after months of uncertainty and issues. He remembered how Jensen had managed to reassure and motivate not only the flight crew but the ground crew as well. He remembered his own very visceral response, and grinned, relishing the atmosphere.

“You will all be aware that we have been having trouble getting the Communications back on line,” Jensen began swiftly. “Whilst our internal comms have been working well, once Professor Padalecki repaired the computer links, our external comms have been causing us some issues. However, today we have found out what has been causing the problems. There is a small magnetic cloud currently just off our starboard bow. It has a destructive affect on our equipment, particularly external ops. The Mariner’s hull appears to be shielding the technology within the ship.”

There was some whispering at this. Jared watched the reactions of the crew.

“This obviously is a problem for us because we need to contact Huston. But we have a solution. If we can send out a probe beyond the cloud, we can remotely send out distress signals. The Prof. can create a computer system that will switch itself on once it is beyond the magnetic field. Once Earth picks up the message then it is only a matter of time before we are rescued.”

There was some excitement in the crowd but a few frowns as well.

“If the cloud interferes with all technology working, then how are you planning to get the probe out beyond its influence?” the Doc called out, voicing some of the concerns.  
“We’ll have to use the booster rocket – ignite the fuel manually. A manual system won’t be affected by the magnetic cloud.”

“But that could be dangerous…” another voice cut across the room.

“The rockets would have to be lit outside of the Mariner to protect us as much as possible. Captain Kane and Lieutenant Carlson have already volunteered to take it out on a space walk,” Jensen’s brow was grim. He had fought hard against his two crew members volunteering, fully intending on doing it himself. It was a very risky task, but he had been shouted down – not least by Jared who had almost collapsed in fear at the thought.

“You’d have to use the rocket fuel we’ve been saving for the propulsion system,” Lieutenant Crowmoor commented. He had not long been released from the Docs care, although still hadn’t returned to active duty.

There was silence at his comment. Jared continued to watch as the crew realised what that meant. No propulsion system meant no way for the Mariner to make its own way home if the probe failed to get a message to Earth.

“The propulsion system was only a vague hope,” Jensen said calmly. “There was never any real certainty that it would work.” The surprise on the crew’s faces was indicative of how much they had truly believed Jensen could literally perform magic and get them home. “The probe has a much greater chance of succeeding, and I think it is worth taking that chance, even if it means closing off other options.”

Jensen paused again. 

“However, I won’t take this decision without your approval.”

There were a few minutes of discussion. Jared had to explain how the computer system would come on line once the probe was in a position to start communicating with Earth. Jensen explained in more detail how the booster rockets would be used. Eventually, Jensen got his vote. Work on the Propulsion system would be stopped and all efforts would be put into building the probe.

A tendril of fear curled round his heart. He believed in Jensen’s plan, in both their abilities to make this work, but this was now the only option open to the Mariner and its crew. They were putting themselves into a very precarious position.

***

If the Jared that had got himself convicted for fraud, with ten years in prison, who played fast and loose with people’s lives, emotions and bodies, if that Jared could see this new improved and dependable Jared, he wouldn’t have recognised him. Not at all. If Jared was the kind of person to reflect on why such changes had occurred in him – and the influence of finding something greater than himself, and being trusted and believed in for the first time in his life rather than… well… rather than all that shit that gone down with his parents… then he might be thinking in terms of healing, and journeys. But as it was, Jared still retained his sense of Jaredness, and he steadfastly ignored any prompting for deep soul searching. But he did recognise that finding a purpose in life alleviated boredom, and he trusted that Jensen was right in recognising that he, Jared, wasn’t a ‘bad’ man. He guessed, when he allowed his mind to even stroll towards any sense of self awareness that perhaps all he needed was a good man (with a wild or perhaps dangerous sense of adventure) and a near death experience to find himself after all.

For next few days, Jared worked harder than he had ever worked before. The computer systems he was building weren’t particularly difficult but they needed to either be switched on remotely (which he thought was impossible due to the interference of the magnetic cloud) or there had to be a time delay before the probe could switch itself on. And it had to work alongside the systems Jensen was building to propel the probe beyond the cloud so it could start transmitting to Earth. That proved enough of a challenge to keep his mind ticking over, and the sense of resolve, the need to get it done quickly, kept his mind to the matter as no other project had ever done. So okay, sue him, if he sometimes drifted off contemplating the beauty of Jensen’s hands, oil besmirched and calloused, as he pieced together the probe casing, or enjoying the spikes of pleasure accorded to him from glimpses of the golden skin of stomach when Jensen stretched after being cramped over the wiring for hours – he was still Jared Padalecki, despite the new conscientiousness and diligence.

Jared and Jensen, although now working on the same project generally worked apart, although Jared would somehow find his way down to the engineering deck to find Jensen during breaks, to sit and watch him work before returning to his own station refreshed and re-motivated. Once every one else began to retire, he and Jensen would withdraw to the cockpit to talk about their day, the progress they had made and then to trade gentle, tired kisses. Every night Jared would return to his own cabin, momentarily regretting the absence of his Commander, and his smooth, sleek, skin, wicked, filthy lips and eyes that reflected every emotion (and every dirty thought) before he fell asleep with the sleep of the righteous. For all that Jared had changed very little in many small ways, he was indeed a very different man from the one who had originally signed up for the mission.

***

It took a couple of weeks, but eventually Jensen declared the probe complete.

“It’s not very pretty, is it?” Chris Kane remarked as he, Carlson, Jensen and Jared stood looking down at it.

“That’s because it a total botch up,” Steve answered grinning. Jensen looked vaguely hurt. 

“I think it looks great,” Jared declared loyally and was rewarded by a sunny smile.

“It doesn’t have to be beautiful,” Jensen muttered. “It just needs to do its job.”

“But will it?” Kane continued. 

“With my engineering brains and Jay’s nerdy genius? How could it fail?” Jensen answered stoutly. Kane didn’t look too convinced. “It’s made of the detritus of our smashed engines, the Mars Space Station, and a couple of kitchen utensils – what would you expect it to look like? Besides, Jay really is a genius – he invented the E-gamma-anomoly convertor! No way is this not going to work!”

Both Kane and Carlson looked surprised and turned to look at Jared.

“Should have been called the Padalecki Paradigm,” Jared cheerfully responded. He grinned as their expressions changed to something close to being impressed.

“Pity we can’t give it a test run though,” Jensen continued.

“We’ll just do a thorough check – I can run diagnostics on the computer and the radio system, you guys can test every weld, screw, wire etc. It’ll be fine,” Jared sounded more sure than he felt – so much could still go wrong. 

“Right, we’ll run the checks tomorrow – and it’s all go for the following day!” Jensen ordered. Jared inwardly groaned, then blushed bright red when all three of the other men turned to him. Perhaps the groan wasn’t so silent.

“What?” he asked though, deciding to brazen it out. “He’s really fucking hot when he does that.” He drew himself up to his total height then scurried out of the room before anyone could say anything.

***

Nothing ever goes completely to plan.

Checks completed, the morning of the probe’s launch dawned with the usual brightening of the Mariner’s internal lighting. And Lieutenant Steve ‘Fucking’ Carlson tripped and fell whilst helping a number of the crew carry the Probe to the launch deck. A desperate inspection reassured everyone concerned that the probe hadn’t suffered undue damage, but Carlson’s wrist was very definitely broken. There was only one other person who knew how to ignite the engines and who could accompany Kane out of the ship.

“Why the hell couldn’t he just watch where he put his fucking stupid feet?” Jared railed for at least ten minutes after he had stormed out of the launch deck with a concerned Jensen following him. Jensen just calmly watched him, probably to ensure he didn’t smash anything important as he stamped and kicked and thumped. “What fucking use is Steve ‘fucking’ Carlson if he’s going to break before he can do anything worthwhile?”

“It’ll be alright, Jay,” Jensen finally managed to say gently.

“No. No. It won’t,” Jared furiously turned on the Major. “It’s fucking dangerous. There’s undiluted rocket fuel and fucking flames, and not a lot of space between you and a fucking big explosion!”

“It’s no more dangerous me and Chris igniting the probe’s rockets, than Steve and Chris igniting it. In fact it’s probably safer, I built the chamber, I know all its idiosyncrasies,” Jensen patiently continued.

“I don’t care about fucking Steve and fucking Chris!” Jared shouted back. He wanted to tear something apart.

“Jay, please. Everyone can hear,” Jensen looked faintly alarmed, and his calmness was beginning to show some wear and tear, his voice ragged with a little irritation. Jared immediately shut up. It was one thing Steve and Chris knowing about his relationship with Jensen, because they were good lifelong friends of the Major’s, but Jensen didn’t need the shit storm that would break if the rest of the crew found out.

“I don’t want you to do it,” Jared said, but more quietly.

“I don’t have any choice. There is no-one else who can operate the firing chamber. You understand that, don’t you?” 

“This is not Star Trek, you know,” Jared continued to plead. “Kirk should never have kept going on those away missions – commanders stay with their ships and risk other people’s lives. You have responsibilities to the ship, the crew… Commanders don’t put themselves in danger.”

“Jay…” but Jared just steam rollered over his words.

“What about me? Don’t I matter? What am I going to do if you get yourself killed?”

“That’s a little bit selfish, Jay. The whole future of the crew rests on this probe.” 

“I AM SELFISH!” Jared shouted back. “Haven’t you worked that out about me yet? I’ve spent the last twenty years not giving a fucking damn about anyone but myself. Nothing has changed. I’m fucking selfish and I don’t care about the crew!”

“There isn’t a choice, Jared,” Jensen’s eyes were narrowed, and his jaw tensed and resolute. This normally would have given Jared a thrill but having it directed at him was a little on the scary side. He felt a sudden rush of emotion, that felt terrifying like he was close to tears.

“Don’t… d… do this,” Jared’s voice broke. 

Jensen shook his head. “There isn’t a choice,” he repeated, and he turned tail leaving Jared behind. 

***

Jared would ever after deny that Jensen had left him sobbing. He wouldn’t admit to being terrified either. But the truth was that he was both sobbing and terrified. He knew just how perilous lighting the rockets manually could be. 

Because space was in effect a vacuum, Jensen had had to design an airtight chamber within the probe containing a mix of inert gases and Oxygen. In this chamber a fuse could be lit. The fuse could be reached through narrow apertures and built in gloves which would allow the person lighting the fuse to place his hands directly inside the chamber without compromising the vacuum. There was a two minute delay on the fuse before the rockets would fire. Technically there was enough time for the igniter to disengage and get far enough away before the fuse lit the engines. However, Carlson had practised that very action several times and each time his space suit or his fingers had snagged delaying his separation from the probe. In addition the fuse hadn’t been tested – and no-one would know for sure if there really was a two minute delay, four minute delay or thirty seconds. And it had to be this way. The magnetic cloud would affect anything computerised – everything propelling the probe through the cloud had to be non-digital.

Carlson knew the risks – they all knew the risks – and Jared had been just as in awe at Steve’s willingness to put himself into this potentially fatal situation, as he was truly concerned and anxious. But Jensen was a different case – he hadn’t had the practice that Steve had had, although he knew his own design better than anyone else. And Jensen wasn’t just anyone – not just a fellow crew member. He had given meaning and reason to Jared’s life and Jared was desperately frightened that he was going to lose that.

But Jared wasn’t really that selfish – he knew, deep down and truly, that Jensen was the only person who had the right experience, knowledge and wherewithal to take over now Carlson was incapacitated. He knew that the needs of the many outweighed those of the few (he’d seen all the Star Trek movies after all), and that if Jensen didn’t ignite the rockets of the probe then forty-four people would die – slowly, but surely and a long way from home. He also knew that he couldn’t let Jensen go without speaking to him before he went.

He wiped his tears on his jacket sleeve, then his snotty nose. He drew in a couple of deep breaths and then stood up. He pulled himself together and made his way back to the launch deck.

***

Jensen had already been suited up, but his face was dark and scowling. Jared felt a quick stab of guilt.

He pushed his way through the crowd who had collected to watch the event on which their fates depended to face up to Jensen. Chris Kane stepped in between them.  
“Not here, Padalecki. Not now,” he whispered fiercely. Jared stared down at the shorter man without compromise.

“Give us a moment, Chris. Please,” Jensen said as he pushed his first officer aside, then grabbed Jared, pulling him over to the other side of the probe.

“What is it, Jay?” he then asked cautiously, anxiously genuinely concerned for Jared’s feelings. For a moment Jared was unable to speak. Every single thought he had had about Jensen – all his respect, his desire for, and adoration of (inappropriate or not) – all tumbled and mashed together. Major Jensen Ackles was perfect – a brilliant leader, a clever engineer, witty, cool, calm, competent, funny, kind, gentle, authoritative and, not least, as hot as hot can be. And he loved him, like he had never loved anyone else before.

“I’m sorry,” he said softly. 

Jensen’s face softened a little, and Jared started to hope that he was going to be forgiven.

“I understand you have to do this. I don’t like it, but I understand it,” he explained. 

“I’m not going to die, Jay. I know what I am doing,” Jensen replied more quietly still.

“Of course, you do. You’re the great Jensen Ackles – NASA’s hero, my hero,” Jared smiled a little, congratulating himself on his stoicism.

Jensen smiled back – a small smile, but a smile nonetheless.

“Just go carefully, and come back safe,” Jared said with only a small waiver in his voice. Jensen nodded. Jared desperately wanted to kiss him, or touch him but there was this clumsy space suit between them and an audience of crew members whose faces were already registering curiosity. 

“I love you, Jay,” Jensen then said and Jared felt his heart break.

“I know,” he added, and he stepped back.

***

He waited until Jensen exited through the airlock, until Jensen turned round to take one last look at him. Then he backed out quickly and made his way to his cabin. He didn’t want to watch, didn’t want to see.

***

Three hours later, and Jared was still lying on his bed, the noises and sights of the Mariner muffled by head phones and through simply having his eyes squeezed tightly shut. He was trying very, very hard not to think of anything, when a light touch to his arm startled him upright. 

Steve Carlson was bending over him, a serious light in his eyes, his broken wrist now plastered. Jared yanked the head phones off, his heart thumping furiously, and his mouth drying instantly.

“You’re needed in the Major’s cabin,” Carlson said quietly. Jared launched himself out of his bunk so quickly that he almost crashed his head against the bed above him.

“Easy, Prof.” Carlson warned, but Jared was already out of his cabin and lurching forwards towards the flight deck. Hands shaking he paused for a second before knocking on door of Jensen’s personal space.

“Come in,” came the rough tones of Captain Chris Kane. 

The voice, unexpected, halted Jared in his tracks, as a wave of nausea threatened to overwhelm him, and the fear that he had been dampening down by refusing to engage with it, started screaming through every cell of his body. No, no, no, no, no, no, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO…

He wasn’t aware that he had backed up, hitting the opposite wall as he slid down to the floor until he felt Kane’s strong hands take hold of him. He looked up into Kane’s concerned blue eyes, as the Captain crouched down beside him.

“Hey, big fella – easy does it,” Kane said kindly. “The doc’s just finishing up.”

“Wha…? Is…?” For a moment Jared had felt certain that Jensen was dead – that he’d been sent to Kane, already ensconced in the Command Cabin, because Chris was now in command of the ship, because the worst had happened, because Jensen was dead, because Chris as the new commander of the ship would feel it his duty to inform Jensen’s loved ones which currently consisted of Jared, because…

Well, now he was just plain confused.

“The Doc?” he gasped and there she was, darks eyes faintly amused and extremely knowing.

“Hmm… I think bed rest. Twenty four hours at least, Captain Kane. Make sure he keeps to it or I will hold you personally responsible,” she smiled but it wasn’t overly friendly.  
“Yes, ma’am,” Chris answered faintly.

She stared for a moment at the Captain, then looked back down at Jared. She flashed a wink before exiting back out onto the main deck.

“Uh… um…” Jared muttered.

“Get up, you idiot!” Chris snarled and disappeared into the cabin.

Jared thought this was a little unfair of Kane. There was no reason why he should taking out his fear of the Doc out on Jared, but he lumbered to his feet nonetheless and followed the Captain into Jensen’s cabin, still not understanding what was going on, but understanding that neither Kane nor the Doc were acting like they had just lost their fearless leader and good friend nor were they acting like he was in any immediate danger. This immediately soothed Jared’s frayed nerves.

“So the twenty-four hour bed-rest?” he asked to Kane’s back. “Did she mean me or…?”

He stopped as he moved round Kane to find Jensen lying on his bed, face white, eyes dark and way too large for his face, but with a dawning grin.

“Jeez…” Jared cried and fell to his knees at Jensen’s bedside.

“I hardly think she means you, Jay, since you seem to be up and walking around,” Jensen reached over to touch Jared’s face, where tears were now falling freely and copiously. 

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Jared examined every inch of Jensen’s body with his eyes, afraid to touch him, but, except for one hand, which was enclosed in a regenerator, he looked whole and well, just worn and tired, and that could probably be explained by the pain he was feeling.

“It hurts like a bitch,” Jensen said as he saw where Jared was gazing. “But the meds will kick in soon. Just a touch of frost bite.”

“Lost his fucking glove trying to disengage with the probe,” Chris explained. “Longest forty seconds of my life – didn’t think you were going to get free, and then whoosh – glove’s off and hand is all exposed, and I’m having to reel him back in so quickly so he didn’t lose the fucker completely.”

Jared paled himself as he heard what had happened and didn’t regret, not for one minute, his decision not to watch.

“It’s okay. I’m okay,” Jensen reiterated gently, still stroking down the side of Jared’s face.

“It all worked. The probe… you know... in case you were interested,” Chris continued. “Ignition fired the rockets up beautifully, and it’s heading through the mag cloud now… but I’ll…um… I’ll just… I’ll go and start the monitoring then… so we can… you know… see when it’s through and when it starts transmitting… and I’ll just leave you two… uh… here then.”

Jared was vaguely aware that Chris was talking, vaguely aware that the probe was performing as it should but couldn’t find it in him to care very much. Jensen was here, trailing magic through his fingertips as they softly caressed his face, and he couldn’t organise his thoughts enough to answer or to alleviate Chris’s growing discomfort.

“So… twenty-four hours, the Doc said. And she’ll have my hide if you’re up and about before then, Major. I’ll just delegate that responsibility to you then, Prof. and I’ll go and monitor the probe…” Chris’ exit from the room was barely noticed by the other two men.

“I’m okay,” Jensen whispered, fingers brushing over Jared’s dimples as he smiled tremulously through his tears. Vaguely feeling like some overwrought teenage girl (no disrespect but he’d seen enough of the freshmen at MIT to know there was at least some truth in his stereotype), Jared could only sit, gazing into Jensen’s wonderfully soft and brilliant eyes. There was some minor discomfort in his knees where he was kneeling, and his back was beginning to make quiet complaints, but nothing was going to drag him away from being the sole centre of Jensen’s attention, his broken heart knitting back together as he basked in the light of Jensen’s regard.

And that was one corny thought too many…

“I thought I was going to lose you, you fucking bastard,” he snarled, and then launched himself onto Jensen’s lips. Cupping his hands on either side of Jensen’s face, he dived deep into the yielding mouth beneath his own lips, his tongue already tangling around Jensen’s. 

“Mmmmnphf…” Jensen tried to say but Jared decided that it wasn’t important enough to pull away – instead the moist heat just drew him in deeper, thrusting his tongue into Jensen’s mouth as he mapped out every dark corner inside. And whatever it was that Jensen had to say was obviously not urgent to him either, as, rather than persisting, Jensen surged up to meet Jared, wrapping one arm around Jared’s back and tugging down so that Jared was half on the bed and half off it. It wasn’t comfortable but all the good oxygenated blood had flowed out of his brain to find more exciting territory, and he wasn’t able to do anything about it. He just got lost in the taste of Jensen, the feel of bruising lips, clashing teeth and battling tongues, and his own rising desire.

Jensen’s hand began to work its way under Jared’s shirt, drawing lines and sworls with his fingertips. Sharp spikes of pleasure spread from each point until he felt himself on fire. But he pulled away as the discomfort took a more unfortunate edge. Jensen chased after his mouth, and Jared felt a blanket of smugness that he was the object of Jensen’s want and need, but he really had to shift. Jensen flopped back down onto the bed with a quizzical raised brow, lips swollen, and glistening, and the cutest, no hottest, red flush across his cheeks.

“If we carry on like this,” Jared explained. “I’m going to come from dry humping the bed frame.”

Jensen laughed.

“Well, we’d better get you more comfortable then,” he said, grinning wolfishly. “Always supposing that now is the ‘proper’ time for this?”

“I think we can proceed properly,” Jared returned Jensen’s grin and ran a hand down Jensen’s chest. “We have twenty-four hours…”

“Not sure that this was what the Doc was thinking of,” Jensen replied, and then hitched a breath as Jared’s wandering hand found where his dick was hard and needy.

“Oh, I think this is exactly what she was thinking,” Jared laughed. “But I don’t want to hurt your hand.”

They both looked down at the regenerator. It’s soft, outer casing encased the warm liquid meds surrounding Jensen’s hand. It wasn’t particularly heavy, but clumsy and not easy to move.

“You’re a genius, Jay. Uh… Oh God… I trust you can find some way of working around… yeah, just like that…the regenerator without causing me too… uh… oh… much damage,” Jensen tried saying as Jared’s fingers grazed his long length.

Jared thought he was already doing pretty well, but felt a swell of pride that Jensen had so much faith in him. Determined to prove Jensen right, he allowed himself a few moments of thought, then dived back in.

***

Some significant time later, Jared collapsed on the bed beside his man with a silent whoop of triumph. In a life full of great achievements (even if some of them were illegal), he thought that the latest and greatest entry for his Who’s Who entry would be ‘fucking Major Jensen Ackles’ – not just the simple act of copulation but seemingly and utterly making Major Jensen Ackles come completely undone. That was Major Jensen Ackles, NASA hero, who was, even now, just coming back to consciousness, gasping for breath and muttering nonsense syllables after coming so hard he had blacked out, following a cry so loud that the whole of the Mariner must have shuddered. Certainly, their relationship was probably no longer a secret to whoever was working directly outside in the cockpit and possibly not the main deck either. 

Deciding that the safest position for Jensen was flat on his back (so he didn’t need to move his hand), Jared had started by undressing them both, then positioning himself above the Major so he could look down and enjoy. Jensen was a long line of tightly toned muscles, creamy skin, and delicious freckles. Jared had really enjoyed exploring the body before him, particularly as Jensen proved to be very sensitive, breath catching, and muscles rippling as Jared’s fingers and lips danced about his body. When Jared’s mouth had finally found Jensen’s dick, Jensen had actually mewed. Delighted, Jared just had to repeat the action to hear the sound again. Jensen had then threaded his hand through Jared’s hair and hauling Jared further down his hard length, until Jared had swallowed it down whole. Jared knew he gave good head, but Jensen had turned almost feral in his reaction to the tightness of Jared’s throat around his dick, and feared for the safety of Jensen’s poor damaged hand as the Major almost arched off the bed. Jared, ever generous, had allowed Jensen to thrust strongly a couple a times, resigned to having no voice for the next few days, before sinking so low onto Jensen’s cock that his nose was buried in the wiry hair, and masculine smell of his lover. Not even Major Jensen Ackles, hero of NASA, saver of lives, holder of bravery awards, Man of the Year (for at least three years in row as far as Jared could remember) and generally the greatest living specimen of human perfection (it was possible that Jared was biased but he didn’t think so) could withstand such an onslaught and he had come so shockingly quickly, flooding Jared’s mouth with rich, creamy, spunky goodness. Which he swallowed, of course, because he was awesome like that, and which caused Jensen to make that mewing sound again. Jared swore that he would dedicate the rest of his life to making Jensen make just that sound, over and over again, it was so good.

Following that, Jared, with a lot of satisfaction, continued dismantling Jensen until he was an incoherent, quivering mess. His mash of syllables might have been translated as pleas for Jared to keeping going, or do it harder, and Jared interpreted them as such but no-one, not least Jensen himself, would have been able to confirm that. Once Jensen was loose enough, and by the time Jared himself couldn’t stand the teasing any further, he lined his not inconsiderable dick (well Jensen’s eyes widened enthusiastically when he saw it standing proud, and dripping, curving round towards Jared’s stomach) against Jensen’s hole and pushed in slowly and surely.

Time stopped still then, and Jared realised that Jensen wasn’t the only one coming completely undone. As he gazed down at Jensen, looking into his green eyes, he saw all of Jensen’s emotions and feeling laid bare for him, and he suddenly felt very moved. He really wasn’t worthy to love this man, but he was loved by him anyway, and that humbled him. Tears welled up in eyes that had not long dried from the last ones, as he sank into Jensen’s warmth. He felt Jensen wrap around him, until there was nothing else but Jensen. Despite all his faults, his arrogance and his selfishness, he had found someone who could be his home, somewhere he belonged and he knew with utter conviction that there would never be anyone else, not ever.

That would be a shame because he was an awesome lover, but the world’s loss would be Jensen’s gain… however he knew with a surety as the bliss of their joining began to rise, that actually it was him, Jared, who had the most to gain. 

“Oh God, I love you so much, thank you for loving me, thank you for giving me a chance, I don’t deserve this but I will make it up to you with the rest of my life, I love you, oh God” his words spilled out as he spilled his seed deep into Jensen.

And because he was Jared despite his profound epiphany, when he realised that Jensen had come for the second time without being touched and then had blacked out, Jared just grinned and declared, “I’m awesome!”

***

He got a round of applause when he finally emerged from Jensen’s cabin to get food.

The doc frowned at him and made sure that Jensen hadn’t risen with him, and then smiled when he told her that Jensen was still asleep.

Crowmoor looked horrified and disgusted.

Carlson clapped him on the back and called him ‘my man.” It made Jared feel a little creeped out.

Kane just rolled his eyes.

***

“So when you get this regenerator removed,” Jared asked sixteen hours later. “I have this thing… you know… about you ordering people about… I wondered if… well… “

Jensen stared at him. Jared tried to stay focused but he was distracted by the pattern of marks that Jared had sucked into Jensen’s skin. He’d started to put one on every freckle but there were way too many of them.

“You want me to top,” Jensen said simply, running his hand through truant spikes.

“Uh… yes!” Jared said in between licks. “But… it’s not just that… it’s the giving orders… the bossiness… it kind of makes me horny.”

Jensen grinned salaciously.

“Then I can definitely do that,” he answered.

***

The twenty-four hours were up. No-one applauded Jensen’s exit from his cabin - they wouldn’t dare, but there were a few smirks behind his back.

His uniform was crisp and pristine, his hair slicked down and he looked every inch the NASA hero. Nothing about his appearance and his presence suggested that he had just spent a day being fucked by and fucking into oblivion one of his officers.

But the news wasn’t good news. The probe was still speeding away from the Mariner but there was no evidence that it had escaped the magnetic cloud and that it was now transmitting.

***

Jared had built in a signalling system – a really simple one based on lights – which would begin signalling as soon as the radio transmission kicked in – something that would happen as soon as the probe was out of the influence of the magnetic cloud. The idea being that the Mariner would then know that the probe was transmitting. It would provide a little hope to the stranded space travellers.

However, despite being monitored on an hourly basis, the signals had failed to light up. Jared watched the tiny speck, which was all those on the Mariner could see of the probe now, frustration mounting. There was very little that could go wrong with the system but maybe something had failed on the transmission side or maybe the magnetic cloud was much larger than they thought. Since emerging from Jensen’s cabin he had taken over responsibility for the monitoring himself, only having a break when Jensen pulled him back to bed to sleep. He was so downhearted that he had even allowed Jensen to be the big spoon, and they both had laid there chastely unable to rest. All their resources had been used up on the probe and Jensen had risked his life launching it. 

“Don’t fret, Jay,” Jensen suddenly said a couple of days later, appearing silently at Jared’s elbow with those amazing, freakishly brilliant ninja skills. Jared felt strong arms wrap around his waist, and lent back into Jensen’s warmth. At least, they would be dying together, Jared reassured himself, although perhaps they needed to make a pact about not eating each other when the food supplies ran out, and making sure that no-one else got to eat them either.

Suddenly, the monitor gave out a bleep.

“Jay?” Jensen asked sharply.

Jared raised the digital binoculars. The monitor beeped again. It was programmed to recognise the red light from the probe. He zoomed in. 

The probe was so far away that even the binoculars weren’t able to make it seem much larger than the size of an ant, but there it was – an unmistakeable flash of red.

“Shit, it’s signalling,” Jared answered.

Jensen moved over to the comms.

“Carlson, Kane, get the crew together. We have a signal,” he barked then turned back to Jared. “You sure?”

Jared continued to stare at the tiny speck in the sky. He watched for one flash, another, and then another…

“I’m sure,” he crowed in delight, and flinging the bins to one side, he leapt forward and grabbed Jensen’s face.

“I’m sure,” he repeated and kissed his man with a wet, loud, smack.

***

Of course, this didn’t mean that rescue was imminent. It didn’t even really mean that the probe was transmitting their mayday signal – anything could have gone wrong. But if Jared was sure of anything, it was of his own abilities to build computer systems. You didn’t get to be the youngest ever chair of computer engineering at MIT without being absolutely brilliant. So Jared was confident that everything was well, and that it was only a matter of time, and if, sometimes, a little doubt crept in, then it was only natural – Jared had experienced some life-changing events in the past few weeks and he wasn’t quite as arrogant as he used to be.

Jensen - clever, clever Jensen who had managed to build a probe that could propel itself safely through a massive magnetic cloud so that Jared’s computer could transmit their cry for help – had no doubts and began to plan. He desperately wanted to save the Mariner, but knew realistically that it was likely that an order for abandoning the ship would have been made. It didn’t stop him trying to work out systems for towing a space ship. Jared was so proud.

The ship’s crew settled back into a routine of sorts after the probe’s launch, albeit with an air of impatience and anticipation. There were a few squabbles with the heightened levels of excitement but Jensen was there mediating and placating and no damage was done except for a few egos. Jared was proud of him for that too.

Everyone was now aware that the Major and one of the inmate crew were bumping the uglies, as Carlson so inelegantly described it, but no-one but Crowmoor was bothered. Crowmoor muttered about what was and wasn’t legal in the services, until Kane pointed out that it was now the twenty-third century and homosexuality hadn’t been illegal in any of the armed forces for a couple of hundred years, and besides that, NASA wasn’t an armed force, Jared technically wasn’t even a member of NASA, and, anyway Jared had turned out to be a hero too so how about giving the two of them a break. Jared was surprised at the vehemence in Chris’ voice as he defended them and was very touched, and he was amused by the fish out of water expression Crowmoor sported as he was chewed out by the first officer. However, it didn’t stop him vaguely worrying that perhaps Jensen would really get into trouble when they got back to Earth.

And so the days passed and stretched into weeks. Jensen got some of the flight and science crews running scans to keep them busy, and started building his latest opus – the great Space Ship Tow – a contraption that could attach one space ship to another, strong enough to have one pull the other behind, flexible enough not to break under pressure, and hardy enough to survive re-entry. Jared spent some of his time watching the stars again, some of it watching Jensen but most of it creating programs to support the Space Ship Tow project. Everyone seemed very enthusiastic about the possibilities of returning the Mariner to Earth but Jared had experience of Jensen and his projects and he wondered how much of the project was real or whether it was just Jensen trying to distract everyone just as he did with the ill-fated propulsion system. He didn’t say anything though, and would loyally report his progress at the Project Meetings without a murmur. Whatever the motivation, Jensen was holding it altogether, and Jared marvelled on a daily basis at the brilliance that was his boyfriend. At night, Jensen showed his gratitude with passionate kisses, and mind-blowing orgasms and Jared would show him how proud and supportive he was with similarly pleasurable activities. 

Underneath, however, there was a thrumming undercurrent of tension, and Jared was just as angsty as the rest of the crew.

The feelings of relief, and joy, then, that accompanied the first sighting of the Man on the Moon, the ageing old warhorse now used largely for rescue missions, was overwhelming. Although it took several hours from the time it was first spotted, until it finally drew alongside the crippled Mariner, the majority of the crew stood at every available port hole and window watching its approach. They continued to watch as their saviours made a dodgy dock with the damaged Mariner’s docking port, and then as the rescue crew came on board.

“Major Ackles!” The young captain stepped forward and saluted Jensen. “I am so glad to see you.”

“Not as glad as I am to see you, Captain,” Jensen responded.

“I’m sorry it’s taken us a little while – the Man isn’t the fastest ship in the fleet, but with the information you gave us in the transmission about the magnetic cloud, it was thought best to use a ship that relied less heavily on computer systems than some of the newer models,” the captain smiled with clear, grey eyes.  
“Doesn’t matter – you’re here and that is all that matters,” Jensen held out a hand to shake the young man’s hand, and the watching crew suddenly came to life, cheering and hugging and welcoming the rescue party with hearty claps on the back.

Jared felt oddly disjointed – he was left behind as the Mariner’s flight crew mingled with the Man on the Moon’s crew, without a backwards glance from Jensen. He was pleased and delighted that there wasn’t a chance of anyone having to resort to cannibalism to survive being lost in space, and as smug as smug can be that his computer systems had ensured the successful delivery of the mayday transmission mission. But the Mariner had become a kind of home to him, and he knew his place here, and he wasn’t at all certain what he would find when they got back to Earth.

Jensen found him sitting back on his storage box, back at his old port hole, looking, Jared hoped, attractively pensive. Jared was aware of Jensen’s regard but continued to pretend that he hadn’t notice the Major’s appearance, and that he hadn’t cared at all when Jensen had shut himself away with the command staff of both ships.  
“You’re sulking,” Jensen commented.

“Not at all,” Jared replied stubbornly. “I’m technically not crew, so why would I have been invited into super secret meetings?” 

“I’m just sitting here absolutely content,” Jared continued as Jensen grunted in disbelief. However, he didn’t press the issue, giving Jared a sharp look instead.

“We’re going to leave the Mariner here,” Jensen explained “The Man on the Moon can carry us all back but doesn’t have the power to tow the Mariner as well. However, I have been assured that there are plans to come back and rescue her.”

“Good,” Jared smiled gently knowing how happy that would have made Jensen, even if he was a little pissed off with him. Jared had after all saved everyone’s lives a couple of times and had been acting as a member of the crew for several weeks – but no, that wasn’t important enough to let him go to the command meetings.

“We’ll be getting under way tomorrow,” Jensen added.

“Good,” Jared repeated, his smile still small but turning away from Jensen all the same.

“Last night on the Mariner,” Jensen said softly, and Jared did pick his ears up at the quiet yearning in his voice.

“You’ll miss her,” Jared shared his immediate thought.

“Won’t you?” Jensen answered. 

Jared huffed a breath onto the smooth glass of the window. He would. For all the danger and fear, he had loved being in space. He loved the stars. He loved the risk of it all. He loved the way he had been challenged intellectually, physically and emotionally by this trip. 

“Last night, Jay,” and Jared recognised another tone lying behind those words. Didn’t matter what the crew of the Mariner thought, the moment that Jensen and Jared stepped on board the Man on the Moon tomorrow, they would have to revert back to Major Ackles and one of the inmate crew. Suddenly not being invited to the party seemed very unimportant.

Jared rose to his feet with a small groan (he had long legs and had been sitting on a small storage box for some time, sue him) and smiled more widely at Jensen. Then he took Jensen’s hand and led him forward to the Commander’s Cabin.

Last night.

At least for a little while

***

It was quite a surprise to almost everyone when the crew were greeted with a welcoming party of military police on their now rather subdued arrival on Earth.

But Jared knew. And it had nothing to do with him regularly fucking, until the dreary journey to Earth in the Man on the Moon, his commanding officer.

Jared had used stolen money to bribe officials into letting him apply for the Mars Program despite his ineligibility. 

There had been silence throughout the crew as Jared was cuffed, and walked to the waiting police car. But it was Jensen’s face, shocked and pale and devastated, that tore Jared’s heart in two. He’d always known that he wouldn’t get away with it, that as soon as he had returned from the Mars Mission, he would be returned to jail. But somehow in all the excitement of the crash, and then in finding and loving Jensen, it had fled his mind, until he saw the stern figures waiting for him. Jensen had obviously been oblivious, perhaps planning their first night together on Earth, and that made Jared sorrier than he had ever been – that he was going to disappoint Jensen.

But he didn’t have time to say anything, he mouthed a quick and utterly inadequate sorry, before he was driven away leaving Jensen utterly bereft on the runway.

***

Epilogue: 13 months later

“Welcome to Moon Base, Professor Padalecki,” a young officer greeted as Jared stepped out of the ‘Galaxy Lady’ onto the docking port.

“Thank you, ensign,” he answered and breathed deeply the stale recycled air. 

“Your commanding officer has been informed of your arrival and has asked us to take you to dock 324 immediately, sir. We’ll ensure your luggage is deposited in your assigned lodgings while you report in,” the ensign continued the epitome of efficiency.

“Thank you,” Jared said again.

“This way, sir!”

Jared followed the ensign who was little more than a child really, through the white corridors of Moon Base. Every now and then he passed big hanger doors, behind which were cacophonies of noise. Six months ago NASA had moved all exploratory missions to the moon, and the base had been doubled in size. Sitting in his cell at the Washington Federal Prison, Jared had watched all the televised feeds from the huge undertaking with great interest. He was filled with excitement at now being here, and seeing it all, but he had something more important to do before that, and he pushed at the heels of his guide.

“I’ve read about your exploits on the Mariner, sir,” the ensign began. Obviously a young recruit to NASA would want to hear about the famous Mariner mission from the lips of one of the key players in the drama.

“All of them?” Jared smirked, then rolled his eyes at the confused look in the ensign’s eyes. They really were recruiting innocents these days.

“It’s a very great honor to meet you!”

Well, of course it is, mused Jared, but he smiled graciously. A great honour indeed. But that still hadn’t stopped the authorities from locking him up in prison for a year. He tried not to be bitter, but it had been hard to accept his incarceration even though he knew he deserved it.

“Ah, here we are, sir,” the young ensign saluted sharply, which made Jared’s own look rather lacklustre but he was new to the military and hadn’t got the hang of things. He rather thought that he wouldn’t get used to some things but since he was heading out into deep space in the near future, he reasoned that there was no need to get overly familiar with military discipline – things were more relaxed in deep space.

The hanger door had a large 324 painted in black, but it was open. Through it, Jared could see the gleaming lines and curves of the Mariner. He grinned at the beauty of her, dimples flashing, as he stepped out onto the dock.

“Reporting for duty, sir,” he yelled when he saw a familiar figure.

“’Bout fucking time,” Major Chris Kane answered back. “I can’t make head nor tail of your damned schematics.”

“I thought I made it very plain in my last coms,” Jared argued back before being enveloped in a huge hug.

“You’ve got two weeks to bed it into the ship’s systems, or we’ll flying out without you,” Chris threatened but there was a smile on his face.

“Promotion obviously suits you, Major,” Jared snarked.

“That uniform doesn’t suit you,” Chris bit back. Jared took umbrage. He was devastatingly handsome in his new NASA uniform, and Chris was just jealous.

“I’ll put it in the log that you reported in, but the Admiral is waiting, so I won’t keep you now. Just report in at 0600hrs tomorrow.”

He patted Jared on the back and then sauntered off yelling at one of the engineers.

Jared looked up at the ship with fondness. He was ecstatic that the ship was going to be his home again. The mission involved a small fleet of Mariner Class ships with the Mariner herself accompanying them as Flagship Command. He wasn’t going to have to share the small space with so many people this time – just the small command crew for the mission as a whole and the flight crew, commanded by Kane.

“Can you direct me to the Admiral’s office, ensign?” Jared asked his young companion after one lingering look at his ship. And yes, it did feel like his ship – he had, after all, totally redesigned the computer and coms systems for the Mariner’s refit, even if it had been from his lonely cell.

“This way, sir,” the ensign signalled and then led the way out of the dock. 

“The admiral’s office in his quarters, sir,” he also explained as they headed into the domestic sector. “You’ll find that your personal belongings will have been deposited there.” 

He knocked at an inconspicuous door. Jared felt a thrill run down his body at the deep tones that responded before he left the ensign behind to step into the room.

Admiral Jensen Ackles was still the most beautiful person, Jared had ever set eyes on. The moss green eyes still glittered brightly, the lips were still plush, the cheek bones sharp, the shoulders broad, the ass tight (although the Admiral was sitting so Jared had to imagine that). The brow was strong and stern. Jared knew his walk was confident but sexy, the voice deep with an edge of whisky huskiness. He was intelligent, brave – a paragon in fact, and Jared was utterly and totally in love with him.

“Professor Commander Padalecki,” the Admiral said holding out his hand. “Welcome on board the Mariner Deep Space Exploratory Mission.”

“Thank you, Admiral,” Jared responded formally, and then Jensen was up out of his chair and throwing his arms around Jared and pressing his lips into his. As far as greetings went, it was pretty satisfying but Jared was hoping for some horizontal action pretty soon. It had been three weeks since Jensen’s last shore leave, and as now Jared was a faithful, monogamous man, he was desperate and horny to get his man into bed. 

Although, the desk looked inviting too… and nearer…

Thirteen months they had been apart, Jared languishing in his cell. The authorities had initially insisted on no clemency and had reinstated Jared’s original ten year sentence (minus the three years he had already served). It wasn’t so much that he had broken rules, hacked into both NASA’s and the Federal Prison systems computer databases, but that he had had the audacity to bribe significant people with money from the heist he had originally gone to jail for. On reflection, Jared thought they had a point but it didn’t mean that he was very happy about it.

Jared had been surprised when Jensen had turned up on that first visiting day. In fact, he thought that his last glimpses of Jensen on the runway would be his last except through the media. But Jensen had had two weeks to come to term, working through his anger and hurt by punching Jared on that first visit, and then he had sat down to explain his well thought out plan of campaign to get Jared free. And he had continued to turn up once a week, every week, while he was stationed on Earth. If Jared wasn’t already head over heels, he would have fallen in love all over again at Jensen’s dogged determination and magnanimous nature.

By the time his day in court for his appeal came round, Jared was already considered a hero for what he had achieved on the Mariner, and support for his case spread wider than just NASA. It felt rather strange to be admired for something he had done well rather than be noted for his scandalous behaviour but Jared used it to his advantage even if he knew that he would have been nothing but a terrified, useless wreck if it hadn’t been for Jensen.

He was also married. He still wasn’t sure how that had happened – Jensen had been sitting across the plain formica table animatedly describing the latest developments with his case, when suddenly Jared found himself blurting it out.

“Will you marry me?”

Jensen had looked up in surprise and confusion so Jared repeated the question. 

“You know, after I get out of here?” he had added.

It was possible that having Jensen so close during these visits but being unable to do anything more than hold hands, and exchange quick pecks on the cheek had driven Jared insane with lust and longing but it felt really right, so that was the gut instinct he went with.

Jensen had held his gaze intently for several moments, almost as if he were seeking an answer to a question and then had simply said “Yes!” Jared stared back in disbelief – why the hell would this amazing man want anything to do with him let alone marry him? He may or may not have wept copious tears later in his cell, with absolute happiness.

There had been an official investigation into the Mariner disaster which eventually commended everyone involved. Jensen had been promoted and given the command of a four ship space exploration. It would mean being stationed at Moon Base. Jared had been in jail for eight months at this point. Admiral Ackles decided to take matters into his own hands, and insisted they get married there and then. They got twelve hours conjugal rights visitation before Jensen was whisked off to Moon Base and their contact was now solely limited to the ‘net. And it was from there, he had commissioned Jared to redesign the computer systems whilst persuading NASA that they really needed to recruit Jared and that he really needed to be on the Deep Space Mission. He also co-ordinated Jared’s defence.

Jared had married a genius and the judges didn’t have a chance.

Jared had been commended for his brave deeds by a NASA review committee.

He had already been granted the rank of Commander and on the manifest for the most important mission NASA had ever planned.

He was designing important computer systems that were going to save a lot of lives in the future.

And he had married NASA’s greatest hero.

They couldn’t refuse. Although Jared had a nasty thought that perhaps Jensen had only married him in order to help him get out of jail - a thought that festered for a while. After all, why on earth would someone like Jensen fall in love with a selfish, arrogant criminal like him. Sitting alone in a cell in prison is not environment that generally promotes positive thinking.

When finally Jared got his pardon, Jensen had been granted shore leave for one week. He had spent all of that time showing Jared just how nonsensical his doubts were. To a point where Jared had been convinced that Jensen had killed him with his long fingers, clever tongue, enticing lips, filthy words and loving eyes. But the strategy was effective and had made Jared feel so much better.

Jared had returned the favour by not even being remotely interested in any of the nubile young things that had thrown themselves at him in the three weeks since Jensen had returned to his duties. And that was perhaps the biggest surprise of all. Jared Padalecki – a one man man. Although he suspected that no-one else on the planet or in the solar system would be able to wring orgasms out of Jared with the quantity and quality that Jensen could.

So, think what you like about Jared Padalecki, he was entitled to feel desperate and horny after only one week and twelve hours in the last thirteen months and the bed seemed so far away, and there was this big old desk standing right there. He pushed Jensen back, then swiped everything to the floor including the lap top. Jensen almost made a complaint until Jared pushed his way between his legs, lining up their crotches, then ripping Jensen’s shirt out of his pants so he could place hot fingers on Jensen’s smooth skin and Jensen forgot about his work lying scattered around the room and got with the program.

***

Jared Padalecki’s life was really good. He was exploring the galaxy in a tiny spaceship and he never knew from day to day what challenges he would face. He was sharing his life with some good friends and the most amazing man in the universe.

And sometimes, that man was quite prepared to adopt that authoratative, bossy tone, that he used on the crew in the bedroom, and that made Jared’s life complete.

fin


End file.
